


The Weight of Ghosts

by N_A_M_E_L_E_S_S



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Chloe Price Lives, Dark Maxine "Max" Caulfield, F/F, Fluff and Humor, Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Torture, Mark Jefferson Gets Arrested, Maxine "Max" Caulfield has PTSD, Multiple Personalities, Polyamory, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Chloe Price, Protective Rachel Amber, Rachel Amber Is Not Perfect, Rachel Amber Lives, Scratching, Third Ending: Save Chloe Price and Arcadia Bay, Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It, it's complicated - Freeform, kind of, kind of?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-16 17:07:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28585446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/N_A_M_E_L_E_S_S/pseuds/N_A_M_E_L_E_S_S
Summary: Rachel meets a blue-eyed girl who knows things she shouldn't and smiles like she's already danced with death. The stranger leaves her curious and excited, but she could never have guessed who the girl really was.Or that said girl had torn her way through time to save her and Chloe Price.The three of them must now fight to put down a monster, all the while Max struggles under the weight of ghosts and her developing feelings for her companions.
Relationships: Maxine "Max" Caulfield/Chloe Price, Rachel Amber/Chloe Price, Rachel Amber/Maxine "Max" Caulfield, Rachel Amber/Maxine "Max" Caulfield/Chloe Price
Comments: 231
Kudos: 240





	1. Blue-eyed Mystery

"Uhm, excuse me..." 

Rachel paused, looking away from her phone and turning at the unfamiliar voice. People rarely stopped her in the street after all.

in front of her stood a mousy haired girl, maybe her age. she had a nervous twitch that almost seemed fake with how apparent it was, and eyes that were... breathtaking. and not exactly in a good way.

it was only for the briefest of seconds, her eyes did not match her movements. for a second the stranger's eyes looked hard and icy, tired, like an old army vet, before they returned to their bright, nervous blue. Rachel figured it must have been a trick of the light, and pushed her unease away to give the girl a warm smile.

"Heya. You need something?"

the girl shifted again, glancing behind her. "Well, you see..." she blushed.

Rachel's brow furrowed. Was she trying to hit on her? but no, she seemed... scared...

"So, there's kind of this weird guy that's been following me for a couple of hours...?" she whispered quietly, and Rachel's smile fell slightly, a dark understanding taking its place. before she could gather up words to respond with, the girl continued. "So I was just wondering if... I could maybe follow you for a little while? so I don't have to be alone and... but only if it's not a bother!"

the last part of the sentence was rushed and shaky, like she expected Rachel to yell at her or something. it broke her heart a little. she seemed like such a sweet little thing, despite the haunting flicker in her eyes before. poor thing.

she softened her smile, speaking gently as if the girl were a scared animal. hell, she may as well have been, "Of course you can sweetie. let's take a walk, hm?"

the relieved eyes the girl gave her were almost painful, and it made her want to draw the girl into a hug and not let go.

those eyes though, from before, they lingered in her mind.

still, she made a show of sidling over and wrapping an arm around the girl's thin frame as they started to walk, smirking when she yelped. 

"If the creep thinks we're close," she explained, "then he'll probably lose interest faster."

The girl was flushing darkly, but nodded all the same. "r-right..."

so maaaybe Rachel wanted to wrap her arm around a cute girl, what of it? You would too if you had the courage.

and she smiled when the other relaxed into her side, a small smile twitching at her face. "You're... something else." she said quietly. she sounded... whimsical. like she'd expected different. like she knew her, or something. that eerie feeling was back, like with the eyes, but then the brunette was smiling at her again and she didn't have the heart to pry.

"I am indeed the queen of all things, it's law I be amazing." she decided to say instead. the brunette giggled, yes, giggled, and it was the cutest thing ever.

the girl shook her head, sighing. "I... have a lot to thank you for." she said, sounding careful. Rachel wasn't having that. "Absolutely not. it would take a true monster to not help you out! You don't have to thank me for that hun."

but the shorter was already shaking her head. "It... will make sense soon, okay? so I'm thanking you. don't forget that I thanked you, okay?"

Rachel blinked in confusion, a little amused, a little worried. the girl sounded a little desperate- like she knew something Rachel didn't. "Do I... know you or something? or uh..." she laughed nervously, "Was this a ruse to walk me into a trap? maybe some thugs are holding your mom captive, and you have to help them capture young girls off the street so you can see her again...?"

she was only half-joking, but the girl laughed, loud and bright. her eyes shined a little. "you... watch too much T.V." she chuckled, "It's almost shockingly the opposite. just, Uhm..." her eyes flickered back and forth, looking for the right words.

eventually, she sighed, apparently giving up. but Rachel wanted answers now, what this girl seemed to think she knew that Rachel didn't. "We have met before, haven't we?" she asked suspiciously. a snort answered her.

"You haven't met me before." again, that whimsical tone. it was starting to bug her a little.

"Odd way to say that, but okay..." she cleared her throat. maybe it was just the nerves getting to the girl, she shouldn't judge.

but come to think of it, she seemed way too relaxed right now... 

people deal with shock in different ways, she tried to remind herself, no judging.

a black car turned the corner in front of them drove past them, kicking up enough wind to send Rachel's hair flying into her face. she huffed as she swept it back behind her ear, surprised to see the younger smiling at her brightly. "That was his car." she told her.

Rachel blinked. that... made no sense. the car had come from in front of them, not behind...

"Are you sure?" she asked. the shorter nodded. "Yep! I got his plate. so, uhm..." she shifted again, looking worried. "I guess that... this is where we part then? but if you don't mind..."

Rachel inclined her head. "Yes?" she asked, forgetting her suspicions in favor of her interest.

the blue-eyed cutie bit her lip. "Could I maybe get a picture with you? I wanna remember you. you helped me out a lot..."

Rachel grinned. "Oh, is that all? of course, you adorable little mess! It'd be my pleasure..." she tucked her hair behind her ear again. "This may come as a surprise, but I'm intending to be a model, so I'm not exactly against having my picture taken," she teased, and the other just smiled brightly at her, expressing no tells of this being new information.

"Really now? well, that isn't a surprise at all." she said, voice quiet but with an unusual amount of confidence. Rachel grinned, about to thank her before she continued.

"This may come as a surprise," she teased, "But I'm actually looking to be a photographer, so that's great news."

she blinked in surprise. "Oh really? that's fucking fate by definition!" she gushed, grinning. the shorter flushed. "Heh. maybe. but my style is often more... candid? I like to capture the moment as it happens... but I guess..." her lips twitched, "if I'm gonna be a great photographer, I should aspire to be good in all areas, capturing both natural moments and painted ones."

Rachel couldn't help the delighted laugh that trickled from her throat. "Couldn't have said it better myself! now, take my picture cutie~ and when we're both famous, we'll find each other again and recreate it, deal?"

the shorter flushed darkly, but she was smiling too. "d-deal!" she agreed, voice pleasant.

The brunette reached into her bag to grab what Rachel assumed to be a camera, and Rachel realized she'd never removed her arm from the other's waist. she didn't plan to, either, but it was noted.

it was a surprise, when the other pulled out an old-looking polaroid, but only for a second. it suited her, strangely, and Rachel could never shame that.

instead, she hugged the girl very close, very tightly, grinning as she lifted the camera. she did a peace sign with her free hand, making her new little friend giggle.

the blue-eyed girl smiled, happy and bright, before the flash of the camera blinded them both.

Rachel blinked, a little disoriented as she pulled back, watching the brunette flap the picture gently. "lemme see, lemme see!" she grinned, making grabbing motions towards the photo. the smaller of the two laughed. 

"okay, okay!" she cried, holding it up so they could see. Rachel's heart warmed. they both looked happy, hair windswept, eyes bright, with Arcadia's late evening sky in the background. it was a good picture... she smiled. she ignored the wary part of her mind that scrutinized her new friend's face and saw something dark in her eyes, something like a wall. she ignored it, and smiled at the girl. "You're good at this!" she told her. a small smile.

"Thanks, but I'd have to be a really bad photographer to make a picture of you look bad," she admitted, Rachel blinking in surprise. a happy laugh bubbled from her throat. "well aren't you just full of surprises?" she asked, shaking her head. she wouldn't have expected this subtle confidence from the shaking girl she'd met only five, maybe ten minutes earlier.

when the girl stepped back, Rachel was disappointed, missing the subtle scent of vanilla coffee that had been drifting by her their whole walk. seeing a little sadly that this was the end of their meeting, Rachel made an impulsive decision

"Wait, uh..." she stopped, doubting herself suddenly. they were strangers after all, but... now the blue-eyed girl was gazing at her questioningly, curiously, and she couldn't back out now.

"would you like to exchange numbers or something?" seeing her eyes widen in shock, she hurried to continue, "just in case any more creeps try to tail your cute ass again. you'd have a hot as fuck body guard~"

deflect with flattery and humor. it was instinct at this point, and it always worked.

it didn't fail her now either, a surprised laugh catching in the girl's throat as she flushed red again.

she looked torn, but just for a second, and Rachel waited a little nervously for a reply.

the girl's face settled, finally, into a rueful smile. her eyes darkened, like before, just for a second. "We'll see each other again..." her eyes flickered. "sooner than you think."

Rachel's brow furrowed, a small shiver tracing her nerves at the ominous words. "Whaddya mean...?"

she smiled again then, happier now. "I believe in fate. don't you?"

Rachel's lips twitched. "I do." she agreed quietly. blue eyes shimmered oddly. "We'll see each other again. soon." 

she sounded so sure, so firm on that fact. like she knew it to be a certainty. her confidence was infectious. Rachel nodded, very slowly. "yeah," she said, then with more confidence, "Yeah, okay."

she watched the girl take a look down at her photo and smile, but it was sad again. "Remember this, alright?" she asked quietly.

Rachel grinned. "Don't worry, I won't be forgetting you for a while."

sensing that she'd better get going soon, and worried she'd be incapable of the words she wanted to say if they stayed looking at each other, Rachel turned away.

"...thanks for making my day cutie. wouldn't mind doing this again, next time."

it was a risk, but what was gayer than talking about fated meetings after only minutes of knowing each other? blue-eyes gave off vibes.

she heard skidding on pavement, like the girl had stumbled, and then laughter. not mocking laughter though. sweet, happy laughter. "...I... might like that..." she sounded hesitant but genuine, and it made a big grin force its way onto Rachel's face.

"thank you too, Rachel. for everything."

her heart beat widely in her chest, elation tingling at the end of every nerve before her heart froze. her smile fell a little, confusion pushing down her happiness.

wait...

she turned, slowly. "hey... how do you know my-..."

but the street was empty. like she was never there. a ghost. now a little frightened as she glanced around hurriedly at the empty street, and wondered if she'd imagined it all.

but no, her side still tingled with warmth where the girl had been pressed against her, and the scent of vanilla coffee remained firmly on the edges of her senses.

despite her apprehension, a smile twitched at her lips. it was an odd thing, being both nervous and excited, and in the back of her mind, she figured that she maybe wouldn't mind feeling that again.

she continued home in silence, her thoughts remaining on the girl she'd just met.

so the girl she'd now affectionately named Blue-eyes in place of a name- she was some kind of magician? maybe she had supernatural powers. maybe that had been why her eyes were so dark some moments. hell, she had entertained with a giggle, maybe she hadn't been human. or perhaps she'd been a ghost!

either way...

Rachel amber smirked, eyes twinkling in the light of the setting sun.

"what a mystery you are, Bue-eyes..." she murmured into the April breeze. quiet and nervous, with sudden dashes of confidence. eyes that knew everything yet said nothing. a smile and a voice as sweet as vanilla coffee, but both held the weight of a secret no one knew...

something sweet, yet something dangerous.

but Rachel Amber had already made up her mind.

"I always have loved mysteries."


	2. For Them.

The sound of frantic scratching echoed in her mind, but it was nothing compared to the buzz of thought in her head.

This might be the worst thing she'd ever forced herself to do, Max realized, and the scratching grew more intense.

more intense, until she could feel blood well under her nails and had to stop. she eyed the palm of her right hand with distaste, torn between horror and annoyance. torn, that's all she seemed to be as of late. she contemplated this, carelessly wiping her hand on her jeans.

she flinched at the action, though, and felt her annoyance grow three sizes.

 _like an insane, neurotic grinch,_ her mind supplied, and her lips curled in loathing. 

_torn, torn, torn... what a funny word._

It was like there were two people in her head right now.

there was the normal her, or whatever she could consider normal anymore, the her that stressed over everything and got caught in her own head. the one that Chloe found cute and Rachel seemed to take a shine to.

 _had found cute,_ her mind corrected painfully,

and then there was... she didn't even fucking know.

another person almost, an angry, hellbent soul, one she'd built to be able to withstand what she knew she couldn't. and then, when it mattered, she had to be able to be strong. not the shaking, pretentious mess she usually was, she needed to be cold. she needed her hands not to shake. she needed to be calm. 

but maybe she'd gone about it the wrong way, because now whenever she was afraid, this personality she'd built took over, changed her. that's why she couldn't call it another person, it was her, just...

she huffed, fingers twitching. soon, she'd meet _him_ again soon.

she needed to stop battling against it. _just go cold already..._

Meeting Rachel had left her feeling warm and content, but she knew that it wouldn't last. she knew it even then. she just... she hoped that Rachel remembered _that._ remembered her like that, how she wanted to be. not the person she had to be to keep her safe. to keep _them_ safe.

what the fuck was she talking about? it was better that they detested her. she was never fucking meant to intervene in their story. she just had to save them, just save them, and then she could stumble off somewhere and cry about it. _alone._

that's exactly what she wanted anyway.

no... no, it wasn't.

her fingers twitched again, but she had to let this happen. Yes. _It was._

she let herself ice over, let her ~~normal~~ weak self take to the backseat. 

Just in time, it seemed. a blood-chillingly familiar man rounded the corner ahead of her, and she steeled herself, taking a deep breath. she took a moment, just a moment, inhaling to let her anger and fear and hatred dominate her, let it resonate with her...

and then she forced it from her body on the out-breath, forcing her facial muscles into a different expression. careful to maintain her mask, she started forward, increasing her pace.

 _Small, innocent,_ her mind mockingly reminded her, _he likes that._

she feigned a gasp as they crashed against each other, and she felt repulsion gnaw at her having his smell so close.

she let herself fall back then, until she met the concrete with a grunt.

she shook her head, appearing disoriented, whispering a quiet "ow..." into the April air.

 _like this pain was anything, after all he-_ Stop.

"Oh my! I didn't see you there! are you alright?"

she withheld a shiver. _that fucking voice._

she looked up, feigning nervous innocence. "N-no! It was me, I was running and I-" she shrunk, "I'm sorry sir..."

he laughed, warmly, kneeling to extend a hand.

"It's quite alright. here..."

she took it, concealing her disgust well.

he pulled them up, and she let herself stumble into his arms.

she couldn't withhold the shiver.

"Whoa! it's okay, I've got you... are you alright?'

Max looked up at him, eyes wide.

_Small, innocent..._

she saw the moment she sparked his dark interest, the way his eyes narrowed, lips pursing, grip tightening a little on her.

~~repulsive.~~

"I... no." she said quietly. ~~the first truth today.~~ he furrowed his brow in fake concern.

_How would he react if he knew that they were both faking? that in a sick way, they were exactly the fucking same..._

"what's the problem?"

she wanted to laugh. ~~you.~~

She blinked, tears welling in her eyes, _right on fucking cue..._

"I think there's a man following me. I think? I haven't seen him in a couple of minutes but..." she shivered, "I'm scared."

she lied through her teeth, the same exact lie she'd given Rachel, and it came so naturally now.

she noticed the subtle twitch to his lips. she hoped he mistook the subtle twitch of hers as a building sob.

"That's awful," he told her, "Please, walk with me. I can't just stand idly by and let a young lady walk into a potentially dangerous situation."

_oh, the irony._

she couldn't help the dark chuckle that left her. his brow furrowed, and her right hand lazily twitched up to- 

"-angerous situation."

"Thank you so much, sir," she murmured. he smiled. "Please, I'm not teaching right now, so," he winked, "call me Mark."

she smiled up at him. "Oh wow, you're a teacher? that's awesome."

he smiled at her. he still hadn't let go of her. creepy fuck. she couldn't take it anymore, pulling back slowly, keeping her smile in place. 

his smile wavered. "It is, it is," he agreed, "But I'd much rather hear about why you aren't home with your parents. it's getting dark."

he was using his stern teacher voice, and it made Max's skin crawl.

she shifted, pulling her expression into one of deep sadness. she bit her lip. "Actually, uhm," she uttered quietly, "I don't... really have anyone."

his eyebrow arched in interest. "Oh? what do you mean?"

_here goes nothing._

"my parents, um... well, there's no one, okay? I'm... alone. I don't exist."

she scrubbed her face like she was wiping tears. his eyes sparkled something evil. "But then who's taking care of you?"

she shrugged. "Me... though it's hard, because well..."

she had to force the next carefully chosen words up her throat like bile,

"When I did have friends they said that I was way too innocent. too nieve. that I'd never be ready to face the real world, and that if I wasn't careful someone would break that innocence."

she watched his breath stagger, hands practically convulse at his sides, watched his atam's apple bob with a gulp. things she never would have noticed before...

"Did they now?"

his voice was gravely with a word Max knew but repulsed her to name, and she forced herself to nod.

His eyes were dark as he stared at her, and she played none the wiser as he came to a conclusion he didn't know she'd manipulated him into.

his lips trembled before a wide smile stretched his face. "A sweet thing like you shouldn't be out here alone," he said, voice trembling with temptation, "but what if your stalker knows where you live?"

_ah, so the fear tactic was what he'd decided on._

after flashing the older the fearful look she knew he wanted, he continued.

"So... alright, I know this is weird, and I hate to put you on the spot, but I can't stand the thought of you being unsafe. how about you come back to my place? just for a couple of hours, of course. my house is close, and I have cameras installed outside, so if someone's fallowing you, we'll catch them."

he kept that charming smile on his face, the one that now made her feel dirty, and she looked down, pretending to contimplate.

her heart thundered in her chest, but she dug her nails into her damaged palm, hissing internally at it to silence.

_It's going perfectly, if you fuck this up now..._

she looked up with wide blue eyes. "Are you sure it wouldn't bother you?" she asked. he laughed warmly. "not at all! come on now, let's get you someplace warm."

he reached out his hand. Max forced herself to take it.

his arm pulled her close to him, stretching over her shoulders, replacing Rachel's warm, welcoming scent with strong cologne. she shivered. "I am a bit cold," she said when he glanced at her, but felt immediate regret when he immediately pulled her closer.

she was tempted to rewind, but she didn't have full control of her new little talent and didn't want to risk dragging him back with her, so she was forced to remain far too close for comfort.

his house was close though, she knew this because she'd planned it this way.

it didn't give him time to change his mind, but truthfully, the main reason was that she knew she wouldn't be able to maintain her act long.

and she was right. already she could feel the fingers of her right hand twitching, her palm itching something fierce. she ground her teeth though, pushing through it.

_just a little longer..._

she could feel his grip tighten, almost painfully as he slid his key into his front door, but said nothing.

he led them a little too harshly inside, but that was okay, that gave her time. she reached subtly into her pocket, gripping the small plastic bag in between two lightly shaking fingers.

she disguised it as a cough, when she held her hand up to her mouth. when she carried out the next phase of the plan.

and when the door creaked shut behind her, when a darkness it would take a fool not to notice began to radiate from her dear old teacher, she just bit her lip, nails digging harshly into her palm again.

when a hand closed roughly over her mouth, she didn't scream, just closed her eyes and hoped that he'd inject her quickly and be done with it.

she didn't scream, but she was shaking, and it was real. it was so real. he ran his hand up her side, a dark chuckle leaving him, and she flinched and trembled and it was _real._ the ice wall she'd built crumbled, fearful resignation taking it's place.

"You're so submissive..." he purred sickeningly, and she felt tears cling to her eyelashes. 

_For them,_ she told herself, _for Chloe. for Rachel. for Chloe. For them..._

she opened her eyes when he wrenched her head to the side, and sickly, she thought she'd never be so releived to see a glittering syringe.

"Your friend was right," he growled against her neck and she yelped, finally, at the sharp pinch that followed.

a rush of nauseating feeling, and then her eyelids lowered, her whole body feeling heavy.

"You'll make a beautiful muse..." the monster said as her body slumped.

_For them. For Chloe. For Rachel..._

"My little doll."

_For them. For Chloe. For Rachel. For them._


	3. Live For Me

"'all the time in the world'..."

the voice was mocking, slow, and Max blinked heavily where she kneeled on the floor, heaving.

she ground her teeth, glaring up at the Raven where it sat perched, mocking, on a tree branch. a tree that grew straight through the darkroom floor. a tree that shouldn't be there, shouldn't be able to be there.

she'd guessed she might get a dream with how messy her emotions had been, but she really hoped she wouldn't. they were never pleasant. 

"What do you want?"

it stared at her, black eyes cold. "You're a coward," the creature told her simply, "A cowardly, selfish little girl who thinks she can control time. control time, what a joke."

she flinched. "I'm not. I'm not cowardly!" she cried out. she was wearing some of Chloe's clothes. why?

"How many times have you failed!?" asked the raven loudly, spreading its pitch-black wings widely. Max recoiled, wanting to sob. "No," she said, "No, I'm gonna fix that. I'm gonna fix all of it!" 

she didn't know who she was really trying to convince anymore.

The raven's eyes glimmered, loathing swirling within them. "You... You're just gonna fix it, huh? just like that? Just fix it!?"

a loud sound echoed off the walls of Max's mind, and she brought her hands up to try and inevitably fail to muffle it. she couldn't tell if it was screaming or laughing but it _hurt_ and she couldn't, couldn't make it stop.

"JUST GONNA FIX IT, HUH!?"

the booming voice made her cry out in pain, recoiling just in time to feel herself in free fall.

free fall, until she landed harshly on sharp, unforgiving sand.

she looked around, seeing that she was now in a desert, sand, and black sky for all the eye could see. she shivered, afraid as the sound of flapping wings echoed out behind her. too loud...

she turned, horrified to see the raven was now twice as tall as she was, eyes burning like coals.

it tilted its massive head. "Just fix it...?"

her throat dried, she was unable to answer under its piercing gaze. "just fix it... heh... hehehe... hahahahaha!" it broke into manic, guttural, screaming laughter and it made Max want to sob.

then, it spread its giant, blackout wings as far back as they would go, and Max knew exactly what was about to happen. she tried to bring up her hands to protect her face, but she wasn't fast enough.

it tore its wings forward with a sonic boom of noise, sending cutting grains of sand slamming into her frame.

she gasped in air and choked on the sand as it flew past, obscuring her vision. that's when she heard them.

voices, so many voices, the sand-

"Max, don't let me go!" "Max, why are you just standing there?" "Max, please don't let me die!"

she heaved, tears burning her eyes. she reached out, trying to catch the flying sand.

millions, trillions, why were there so fucking many!?

"Max, I trusted you!" "You can't fool me" "I was wrong about you." "I should have never put my faith in you."

how many people had she let down!?

"What's the matter, Max?"

the raven. through the cacophony, its words still boomed the loudest.

"Just catch them all in your fingers! Just FIX it, Max!"

tears rushed hot down her face, her hands bloody and burning from the sharp pieces of sand. she curled into herself, sobbing as the cutting edges continued their constant assault on her fragile body.

"Control the sands of time, Max! Fix it! Catch them all!" Boomed the raven, "Every grain!"

"Help us!" "You let me die." "Worthless murderer..." "Never be good enough."

she sobbed heavily, bleeding, crying, breaking-

"FIX IT! SAVE THEM! FIX I-" "I _CAN'T!_ "

at once, everything stopped. 

everything silenced.

she continued, sobbing, heaving trembling, "I can't, because I'm weak and I'm cowardly and a failure and I _can't_ fix it! I never could! I..." her voice broke, not even noticing until now that the environment had changed again.

a misty, dark forest of cold, dead trees greeted her, the raven back to its normal size and perched on its tree.

it cocked its head at her. "You...?" it pushed, voice quiet again.

she gulped, clearing her throat. "I just want to protect them" she admitted in a choke.

its eyes shined. 

"And that is exactly what you exist for. protect the ones who need to be protected from people like you." 

she lowered her head, tears dripping onto the damp forest floor.

"You know what to do when you're done, don't you? how you can really protect them from you?"

its voice was nauseatingly gentle now, and its words made a dark thought swell in Max's mind.

She was shaking, crying on her hands and knees in the dirt as the raven whispered, "It's what you deserve."

her shaking, bleeding fingers dug into the wet dirt.

"All you do is hurt people. They wouldn't miss you."

she could feel one of her eyes twinging suspiciously, could feel half of her mind go cold.

"They all think you're a burden. They don't need you"

It felt like there was two of her, battling for dominance in her skull.

"You know how to fix it."

she just wanted this all to stop.

"Nod your head, Maxine."

Max flinched, then slowly moved to comply, raising her head...

only for arms to wrap around her waist, grounding her as she gasped. "Like _hell_ she will!" a familiar voice growled, keeping an arm wrapped securely around her as she lifted them.

Max closed her eyes, tears gathering as she stood on shaking legs, supported again by her lifeline.

" _Chloe..._ " she breathed, shaking against the older.

the punk didn't take her furious eyes off the silent raven, tightening her hold. "Look Max, I don't know what the fuck is going on, and you have a _hell_ of a lot of explaining to do, but..."

Chloe finally looked at her, her brilliant blue eyes electrifying Max just like they always had.

"The bird is wrong!"

she spoke so loudly, so certainly, that it shocked Max to silence.

Chloe growled, as protective and as loving as a pit bull. "Yeah, I was mad, hella mad, but..." she growled again, "Fuck Max, I missed you. like, really missed you! more than..." her voice shook, "More than anyone. I don't know what's going on with you, but I know you, okay!? and I know that I need you!"

when Max didn't meet her gaze, Chloe gripped her chin, forcing it up. Max looked into the eyes of her favorite person, exhausted and broken, and watched her eyes soften. "I know what I need." Chloe told her, "and I know I need you. so..." her eyes softened even more, and she gave that little half-smile that Max loved so much, all the way back from when they were kids. 

"I don't want you to die for me, Max. I want you to _live_ for me." she uttered finally, and the words were enough to suck the breath from Max's lungs.

that... she...

_Chloe..._

Chloe smirked at her. "What, never thought of that dumbass? well, think about it _now_."

Max's heart felt warm like it hadn't in a long time, warm in a way that melted the ice determined to rip her mind in half. the numbness heated out of her nerves, and the slight burn that had been building over her eyes faded out.

if this was what selfishness was, if this is what cowardice felt like...

then that was all Max wanted to be. she nodded slowly, softly. Chloe had her now, and for the first time since she'd first made the decision to fix it all, her mind was at peace.

she looked back at the silent raven. Chloe's bright blue hair reflected like a beacon in its soulless black eyes, giving her courage. she took a deep breath.

"Leave." she told the raven, "And never come back."

it held still for only a second, matching her gaze. Chloe's arm tightened around her, and her resolve didn't weaken. 

slowly, the bird bowed its head, then wordlessly spread its feathery black wings and took to the air, flying off into the black of the trees. "Come back nevermore asshole," Chloe growled, making her snort. she slumped against the girl then, wondering how one could be exhausted while in a dream.

Chloe continued to hold her close, much to her content, and she hummed questioningly when the taller sighed.

"I wish this wasn't just a dream." the taller admitted. Max hummed. "It's not," she assured her, "these ones never are. or, probably anyway..." Max's brow furrowed, "I guess you could be some drug-induced fever dream."

At Chloe's wide-eyed stare, she laughed. "relax, I didn't take them by choice!"

when Chloe's face started to pale she realized that that may not be exactly reassuring.

"But I mean," she tried, "It's okay! I knew it was gonna happen, I have a plan..."

yeah, she was just making it worse.

Chloe stared at her horrified, her mouth slowly twisting to form words.

"Jesus fucking _Christ_ , Max. What the fuck happened to you in the last five years!?"

she couldn't help the satiric smile that twitched at her lips at that. "you have no idea," she told the punk with a chuckle.

This appeared to worry the other greatly.

"Are you... okay, Max?"

Max shrugged, not wanting to lie. "Probably not a great thing to talk about here, considering..."

she trailed off, but the unsaid words hung there. didn't want her fragile emotions to attract another hungry creature.

Chloe stammered. "R-right, of course, yeah. let me lead you back, before any more fuckers find you."

Max flashed her a curious look. "Lead me back?" she asked. the punk shrugged, removing the arm from around her but keeping a tight hold on her hand.

"Uh, I dunno...? I always know the way in this place. you could say I'm here pretty often." she uttered, pulling Max deeper into the trees. Max's brow furrowed. she'd been fairly sure that this was something to do with her powers, but if this was where Chloe went when she had her nightmares then...

"It's always changing though. how do you know the way?" she inquired, "I didn't even know there _was_ a way..."

again the punk shrugged, glaring searchingly into the darkness. "I just... always have." was her only response.

Max blinked. _huh. interesting..._

"We actually aren't that far. you must have some serious shit going down if you only got this far in before one of those fuckers grabbed you."

Max wasn't stupid, she could hear the question hidden in those words, and wanted so desperately to be able to answer it. she knew she couldn't though, if Chloe did remember this and decide to act, it could derail the whole plan.

"You'll know soon," she promised instead, and then felt a twinge of sorrow. "Very soon... when you wake up, if you remember this, make sure your phone is charged, and be ready to drive."

Chloe paused, flashed her a look. "Uhm, what? why?"

Max winced.

"Th-that's all I can say. I'm sorry..."

Chloe stared at her- no, into her for a couple more seconds before sighing and continuing forward. "Same old Max, apologizing for everything. just..." she looked unsure suddenly. Max knew why.

"We'll see each other soon," she promised her, "and you can yell at me all you want then, without having to save my ass. okay?"

Chloe's lips twitched into a grin. "Fine, but you asked for it. I have a lot to get off my chest."

Max nodded, guilt nipping at her heart.

"I know."

she paused.

"Chloe... it'll be okay, alright?"

Chloe stopped.

"What?"

Max looked her in the eyes, smiling a little. "I know you're worried. about her. or if you're not you will be. but it's going to be okay... that's why I'm here."

Chloe's mouth fell open. "is... that what the bird was talking about? but... Max, how the fuck do you know about..." she shook her head. "I can't tell you right now. But please," she tightened her hold on the girl's hand, "Please trust me, okay? It'll be alright."

Chloe continued to stare at her, those beautiful icy eyes calculating. 

slowly, she nodded. 

"When I see you again," she uttered slowly, carefully, "Is Rachel going to be with you?"

Max hesitated, but surely this was a safe enough question. "Yes."

Chloe nodded. "Will she... be okay?"

_shit._

Max bit her lip. "That's the goal." she decided to say.

Chloe said nothing for a few seconds, probably thinking through everything as she pulled Max further into the thick trees. Max trusted her though. more than anyone...

then, Chloe blinked. smirked a little. "My clothes look good on you." 

Max flushed. "I-I don't know why that-" but Chloe just laughed. "I know Maximus, it was a genuine compliment."

Max just coughed, making Chloe laugh harder.

then, Chloe flashed her a look. "You didn't seem surprised when you saw..." she gestured vaguely at herself, and Max nodded in understanding.

"Why's that?"

Max bit her lip again, and Chloe sighed, sounding a little annoyed. "another thing you can't tell me?"

Max looked away.

"Sorry," she muttered.

Chloe sighed. "Nah, I get... actually, no, I don't get it, but you do, and..." she trailed off, then sighed. "I'm gonna try to trust you again," she spoke quietly.

Max's heart warmed before Chloe continued.

"We're gonna have to have a serious talk. soon. but I'm gonna trust you, okay?"

her voice was so sincere, it made Max's heart warm immeasurably. she couldn't keep the smile off her face if she wanted to, bumping her shoulder with Chloe's. Chloe cleared her throat, appearing embarrassed.

that was right. she had to keep reminding herself. they weren't together now. she had to restrain herself.

Chloe liked Rachel...

were they even together?

maybe not, since Rachel had at least _seemed_ like she'd been flirting with Max.

Dog, that was another thing. 

Talking to Rachel... it... 

it stirred up feelings in Max she didn't know anyone but Chloe could bring out.

but more and more lately... she was getting memories of Rachel that didn't belong to her. she was almost positive they didn't. but being around her had stirred up such feelings, feelings that were... they didn't belong to her, almost. but... they were hers?

she shook her head. she should be thinking about Rachel that way when her girl... no, she had to remind herself. not her girlfriend. Rachel's girlfriend, probably.

oof. that stung. the two people that... together... how twistedly funny. 

"Max?"

Though of course that just seemed right didn't it? just right for someone like her... someone who didn't deserve Rachel.

"Max."

Wait, what? why had she thought of Rachel...?

"Earth to Max...?"

There was that feeling again, like it wasn't her, but what-

"Max!!"

she jumped, looking up startled at Chloe. the girl was looking at her worriedly. "You got stuck in your head again," she told her, putting on a smirk that looked strained. "I guess some things never change...? seriously, what's up dude? and why did..." she watched Chloe gulp.

"Why did your eyes change?"

Max blinked. _what?_

"What do y-" she cut herself off with a pained grunt, reaching up to grip her head. " _Fuck,_ " she snarled, the sudden pounding making her wobble where she stood.

Chloe's arms reached out to steady her, and Max swore she said something but she couldn't hear it. she panicked, breath kicking up as she tried to yank herself away.

she felt like she was being ripped away. she focused everything she had on staying right where she was, panting.

suddenly, Chloe's voice was right in her ear.

"Max, it's okay. We're close enough, you're just waking up. stop fighting it." 

she stayed tense in warm arms, breathing ragged. "Max, just _trust me._ we'll see each other soon, right? that's what you said. I want to see you. in real life. so wake up Max."

Max ground her teeth, slowly forcing herself to untense. she didn't want to leave Chloe yet. she wanted to stay with her and talk and breathe in the smell she'd missed so much but-

but she had a job to do. Rachel, she remembered hazily, she had to save Rachel.

"Max, go. go find me." Chloe told her sternly. she nodded. "I- I will..." she could feel herself slipping.

"Max, wake up. wake up."

her vision whited out as she finally loosened her grip, her mind awash in a familiar sorrow at losing Chloe again.

it was alright though, she knew. Max would see her soon...

she just had to get through this. just had to do this. save Rachel, find Chloe, save Rachel, find Chloe... it would be okay. she had to trust that. she had to believe that.

It would be okay...

_"I don't want you to die for me, Max. I want you to live for me."_

Live... she had to live. she had to save Rachel and find Chloe, and she'd demolish any obstacle that tried to keep her from doing that.

this time, when Max awoke in the room of her worst nightmares, this time, with her hands bound and her plan wrapped plastic, stuffed in the hollow of her cheek...

this time, she wasn't afraid.


	4. What the Actual Fuck is Going On?

Waking up had never hurt so badly.

or... well, not _hurt_ exactly, Rachel figured, just...

moving her gaze made colors smear, and her head swam in ways that made her want to puke. 

she found herself unable to move her arms apart. they were... bound? fear swelled in her stomach. she was so disoriented already, but when a click followed by a quick flash pierced her senses she blinked heavily, groaning. what the _fuck_ was going on?

"Now now, stay still." a familiar cool voice said, and suddenly, alarm pricked at her heart. she opened her mouth- maybe to try and say something? but a new- yet still familiar voice spoke before she could.

"Come on, you fucking promised me!" who... Nathan?

a sigh. "Come now, you have that sweet little thing over there all to yourself. what do you possibly have to complain about?" 

Rachel blinked heavily again, trying hard to focus, take in the image in front of her. her head pounded with the effort

Mr... yes, there was no doubt, that was Mr. Jefferson crouched there in front of her, camera in hand. what...? 

and then... Nathan, stood off to the side of him. he was shaking with rage, teeth bared. she watched his hands clench. _danger_ , her mind warned her foggily, _I'm in danger._

"Do you really think I care about this bitch?" he gestured wildly behind him, and Rachel narrowed her eyes, realizing that there was a person there, slumped forward in a chair. who...?

"I want _her!_ "

Rachel's blood boiled, even through her confusion. little dickhead.

At this, Jefferson sighed. "You know what? Fine. I prefer the look of the other one anyway..." he stood and turned to... do something with the picture he'd just taken. a folder, she realized, a folder was on the table, and she ignored her prominent disgust to look back to the chair.

Other one... who...

it was a girl, pale, only her wrists bound, and Rachel tried desperately through the hazed muddle to figure out where she'd seen that face. bright blue eyes opened and locked with hers, making a memory sluggishly pulled itself to the forefront of her mind at the sight of those eyes.

who...? oh... oh.

she sucked in air. Blue-eyes! what was she doing here? had they gotten her too? fury joined her fear, sobering her a little as Jefferson shot Nathan a hard glance. "Just don't touch the syringe. if she needs dosing, I'll do it."

Fear surged through her, but Nathan growled. "The fuck do you mean? I can do it!"

he sounded like a child throwing a tantrum, and Jefferson must have thought so too, because he didn't even look away from his task, just sighing. "You don't know what you're doing, Nathan. Do as I say."

Much to Rachel's horror, the boy didn't listen. he instead plucked a bottle and syringe off the rolling table to her right, a determined, angry look on his face.

her fear skyrocketed when he pulled the plunger as far back as it would go, filling the barrel to the brim with the clear liquid in the bottle. _too much_ , her mind echoed, _that's too fucking much._

Nathan didn't stop though, stomping towards her, syringe in hand. she tried to scoot back across the floor, but her limbs would barely listen to her, and with her arms and legs bound she could hardly move quickly.

before Nathan got anywhere near her, however, motion caught Rachel's blurry eye.

Blue-eyes watched, her eyes dark and icy, just like they'd been before. except this time, they weren't changing back. Rachel had just enough time to feel afraid before the brunette's leg shot out, tripping Nathan.

Rachel scooted back as much as she could, pressing into the corner as the boy fell flat on his face in front of her, syringe shattering upon impact with the floor.

barely able to process what happened, wanting to sob at the confusing images and pounding in her head, Rachel looked back to Blue-eyes.

the girl winked at her, the motion looking alien on her face before she quickly shut her eyes again. out of the corner of her eye, Jefferson whirled around at the crash, and the realization hit her foggy mind like a ton of bricks.

_She's faking it._

torn between sobbing exhaustion and relieved laughter, Rachel pushed herself back further into the corner behind her.

she just wanted to be with Chloe, home.

"You moron!" 

she whimpered as she heard Jefferson shout.

"You..." he held up the bottle as Nathan pulled himself to his feet, swearing. "You nearly gave her half the bottle!" he snarled loudly, "that would have killed her!"

Nathan looked at him, face torn between rage and fear. "Well- I didn't!" he defended lamely, Jefferson's eyes narrowing dangerously. 

"Because you fell, you mean. and broke my only glass syringe." his voice was a low, cold growl, and it made a kind of whimper fall from Rachel's throat. Nor Jefferson or Nathan batted an eye but Rachel noticed Blue-eyes flinch minutely. 

"That wasn't my fault!" Nathan cried, voice getting higher, louder. he gestured violently at Blue-eyes, "She did it! the little bitch tripped me!"

Jefferson raised an unimpressed eyebrow, turning to cast his eyes on the small girl.

nerves coiled in Rachel's gut as she watched, worried for the young girl as Jefferson drew near.

he gripped the girl's jaw, tilting her head up and making something angry and protective flare in Rachel's chest. she was sobering just a little, relieving her.

Blue-eyes whined quietly, the sound grinding Rachel's nerves before blue eyes opened, looking hazy and gone.

the fuck? had she been mistaken? no, she realized watching her, she wasn't wrong. the girl was faking.

Jefferson chuckled lowly, the noise sending a shudder down her spine. "Don't lie to me, Nathan," he said, voice calm again, "She's so out of it her eyes have changed color."

Jefferson buried a hand in brown hair as Nathan stammered. Rachel watched disgustedly, wishing desperately that she could do something, anything to stop all of this. she was angry and scared and hurting, and she'd never felt so fucking hopeless...

"Go get another syringe. they should be in the box outside." Jefferson uttered coldly, tightening his grip as Nathan immediately followed the order, a despaired shake to his expression. Rachel saw Blue-eyes flinch, a heartbreaking sound leaving her.

An odd kind of growl left her at the sight, her body wrenching against its binds. Jefferson turned, and cold, dark eyes caught hers. "Oh?" he grinned, "Does it bother you, Rachel? seeing me play with her?"

his grip tightened even more, Blue-eyes wincing. she was trembling now, and if it was an act it was a damn good one. she glowered at him, firey anger pulsing in her chest. sick fuck. She'd be the first to make him suffer when she got out of this. 

he just smiled wider, making her even more enraged. "Does it make you angry," he continued, dropping the girl's head and turning to face her fully, "Being so helpless?" he stepped towards her, "So stuck? unable to do anything..." he kneeled over her, his eyes sparkling horribly, "Forced to sit there and watch..."

she ground her teeth.

"F-fuck... you." she manged, eyes burning. he chuckled. "My, you make such gorgeous faces when you're angry... hold that pose."

he stood, walking over to the same table from before, and Rachel shot a concerned glance to Blue-eyes.

she was looking back at Rachel, eyes dark in the way that made Rache's skin crawl. why weren't they changing back?

those eyes, they scared her. almost as much as Jefferson's.

 _black ice,_ her hazed mind supplied, _they look like black ice, like terrible monsters swim behind them._

"Would you like to pose with her? that can be arranged."

Rachel fixed her glare back on Jefferson, only to be momentarily blinded by a flash of light. she blinked heavily, momentarily disoriented as he laughed.

"What a beautiful expression..." she heard him mutter. helpless. she felt so helpless. angry, and so fucking helpless.

was she going to die here?

she... she couldn't die here. Chloe needed her. She needed Chloe. there was so much still left unsaid! she couldn't die... Blue-eyes didn't deserve to die this way.

Blue-eyes...

she looked back towards the chair, looking for answers in those eyes, but her heart froze in her chest.

it was empty.

she blinked, alarmed. it was just fucking _empty!_

not a second after that, a blood-curdling scream ripped through the air, and something heavy smashed to the ground.

Rachel whipped her head up, but groaned when it made her world swirl around her, having to lower it again. she vaguely registered Jefferson jumping to his feet and rushing for the door, grabbing a handgun from the table on his way.

her vision swam and fearful confusion swelled in her chest as she pushed herself back into the corner.

what was happening?

there was a blur of color, and then Jefferson was on the ground, a familiar figure stood over him, eyes frigid.

* * *

Chloe practically shriveled under the eyes of her mother, looking anywhere but her. Joyce's glare tightened. "You want to do dishes. _you._ want to do _dishes._ " she sounded painfully disbelieving, and it made Chloe wince guiltily. It had been a long time, hadn't it?

"am I not allowed?" she found herself asking, snark evident in her tone. Joyce's brow raised, her hands on her hips. "No... you are, but what do you want?"

Chloe glowered. "It isn't about that!" she snapped, "I just..." she sighed. David was watching with suspicious eyes from the dining table. she should have known that this would be a bad idea. "I just needed a distraction is all," she admitted quietly, "Nevermind."

she had barely made it out of the kitchen before her mother's voice called out again.

"...Chloe, wait."

she sighed and turned to look her mother in the eyes again, feeling awkward.

not like that was a new feeling, feeling awkward and out of place. wrong.

"...I'm sorry for being so... accusative. I was just shocked. of course, you can wash the dishes. I would... appreciate it if you did." her mother sounded careful and reserved, unsure. Chloe was glad to know she wasn't the only one.

Chloe nodded wordlessly, awkwardly, and shuffled back towards the sink. jeez, they didn't have to keep looking at her. it was just fucking dishes...

"Is this about Rachel not showing up last night...? has she texted you?"

she wanted to laugh. there was no way she could explain it all to her mom, so she didn't try. "I had a dream." she responded curtly as she turned the faucet on, hoping that the subject would be dropped. it wasn't, because the universe hated her.

and it must really hate her too because the one to speak was David.

"You uh... have nightmares a lot, don't you Chloe?"

She snarled, annoyance spiking. "So!? this one was bad, what do you want from me!?"

the air became thick with tension, just like it always did. whatever, he was the one to start it. soap on her hands felt odd, she noted distantly. she wasn't used to this anymore.

"that..." David cleared his throat, softening his tone. "That isn't how I meant it. I'm..." out of the corner of her eye, Chloe saw him shoot a look to Joyce, who nodded reassuringly. "I... often have nightmares too. I'm prescribed Clonidine for them."

his words were awkwardly spoken and slow, but Chloe still didn't know what he was getting at. 

"And that applies to me how?"

her voice didn't have as much bite as she would have liked, but David still squirmed.

"Well..." he cleared his throat again. Joyce, who had walked up behind him while he talked, reached out to squeeze his shoulder encouragingly. they had to encourage each other to deal with her, like she was a wild animal.

and they wondered why she never stuck around.

but David's next words would clear her head of those thoughts.

"I wanted to ask if... you'd like to go with me to see my doctor... to find out if you're applicable to get a prescription maybe...? to help you sleep."

Chloe nearly dropped the plate she was rinsing, freezing in place. she turned slowly to look at him. the tension in the air was gone instantly, replaced with an entirely different kind.

"What?"

the surprise in her voice was evident even to her, and she winced at the high, awkward sound. David looked just as uncomfortable. he shrugged noncommittally. "Just... just if you want to."

his voice was almost too quiet to hear, but Chloe had heard the words loud and clear. she looked between David and her mother, then back again, not quite knowing what to do. what was she supposed to do in this situation? supposed to feel?

Joyce gave her a thoughtful look. "You don't have to agree right now dear, we just thought..." now it was her turn to squirm, "Well, we just thought you might be a little happier if you weren't so tired all the time."

Chloe, to put it simply, was stunned. "I-I, uhm..." she choked, mind blanking on what to say. what was she supposed to say? she hadn't even known they knew about her sleeping habits, let alone cared. but there they were, looking at her like this was important, like _she_ was important and she was frozen.

"...thanks." she croaked quietly when she could think of nothing else. they both gave her relieved looks. "You're... you're welcome Chloe." David murmured. realizing she was wasting water, Chloe hurried to get back to her task. well, she'd done what she wanted, she'd thoroughly distracted herself. 

there was a weird feeling in the air now. it was... uncomfortable, but not... too bad? she preferred it to the normal tension at least...

much to her amazement, she was almost disappointed drying the last mug, finding herself drawing it out. she... didn't actually want to go back to her room... how odd.

she shuffled in place when she was done, ready to walk back to her room.

Joyce reached as if to grab her arm before she seemed to change her mind, letting it drop to her side. she cleared her throat. Chloe didn't run.

"If... If you'd like more distractions, I could always use the help." the woman said slowly. Chloe shifted, a little worried at how much she wanted to take that offer. the normal hostility she felt burning in her chest was nowhere in sight today, maybe from that crazy dream.

the fact still stood that no one in this household really knew how to talk to each other, or what they could say and... well, Chloe certainly didn't want any olive branch bullshit, but this... the not anger was nice. being around other people was nice. so slowly, she nodded her head, clearing her throat. 

"Uh, sure." she muttered quietly, too quietly, but she knew she'd been heard by the smile that spread across her mother's face. "That's... thank you, Chloe." the woman crossed her arms, "Now if you wouldn't mind, you're taller than I am. help a girl out and get the damn cobwebs out of the corners?"

Chloe's lips twitched. "Sure thing, mom," she muttered. Joyce's eyes softened. 

"I'll get the broom." the older woman smiled.

things... things were almost okay after that. Chloe even found herself enjoying her mother's company like she hadn't in a while. and David was surprisingly sufferable, even going so far as to offer to buy her new tires for her truck, since the ones she had were old and worn.

she'd cautiously accepted the offer, choking out a 'thank you' that made David smile in a way she'd not seen before. she'd never been so... content cleaning. and, she stayed sufficiently distracted, until even the exhaustion from the previous night was unimportant.

it was only a couple of hours later, however, that her phone rang, and her almost-contentedness faded immediately at the sight of the caller ID.

she accepted the call with shaking hands. "Rachel...?"

Joyce flashed her a worried look, one she ignored as she heard breathing on the other end. then, Rachel spoke, in a voice smaller than she'd ever heard from the girl.

"Chloe... could... you come pick us up please?"

her heart jumped all the way up to her throat. "us...?"

shuffling on the other end.

"she... I don't know her name. she said you would."

Chloe's pulse raced, her dream last night flashing in her mind. it was real. holy fuck it was real. "Blue eyes, mousy expression?" she asked hurriedly, and heard Rachel laugh uneasily. "Well," she muttered, voice thick with an emotion Chloe couldn't name, "She certainly has one of those..."

Chloe's brow furrowed in confusion. "Put her on." she tried. moe shuffling. "She's talking to the police right now."

alarm crashed through her, and Chloe sucked in air. "Police!?" she repeated, voice higher than usual. Joyce and David were exchanging glances now, worried ones.

"Yeah... we're at the station. just, please Chloe-" she heard the other's voice break, and her heart froze. 

"I need you."

those words did something to Chloe's brain, something primal, and she was up in an instant to fetch her keys. "Yeah," she stumbled, "Yeah I'll- I'll come. just let me-" she grunted, pulling on her boots. when she turned back around, Joyce and David were watching her with matching expressions of worry.

Rachel sighed in her ear. "thank you... It'll all be explained when you get here, just..."

she sounded so tired and out of it, and that... it hurt more than she'd like to admit, hearing Rachel so broken sounding. "It's okay," she tried to soothe her, "I'll be there soon, I promise."

Rachel gave a little laugh. "Thanks... love ya starshine."

her heart jumped again, and she nearly dropped her phone, face heating up. "I... I'll be there soon." she managed, and then, hesitantly, "You too."

she hung up and slid her phone back into her pocket, shaking her head to clear it. she fumbled through said pocket for her keys, only to hear a throat clear. she looked up to see David holding them.

"Where are you going?"

she huffed. she didn't' have time for this. "I'm going down to the station." she told him firmly, "Something happened to Rachel."

His eyes narrowed. "Because of Rachel or to Rachel?"

she glared, snatching her keys from the man's hand. " _To_ " she repeated in a snarl. she shoved past him, towards the front door. she didn't have the fucking time.

she had just gotten the door open when he called out again.

"...wait."

Chloe glanced back, impatient. he looked awkward again. "...today was... nice. thank you," he said quietly. her glare dropped, an awkward twitch taking its place. she shuffled in place, suddenly feeling self-conscious. "Uh. Yeah." is what came out. there was a moment of silence before David nodded slowly. "Be safe" he said. she nodded.

she turned and walked out then, feeling different.

sat behind the wheel of her truck, Chloe's mind raced, the usual calming effect driving had on her nowhere in sight.

the last 24 hours had been nothing but worried confusion, and she found herself ironically wishing for things to go back to the way they were before. but this was exactly what she'd wished for, change. excitement.

thinking back on a crying, broken dream Max and an exhausted, bothered sounding Rachel, Chloe wasn't so sure she wanted that anymore.

her grip tightened on the steering wheel her jaw clenching.

What the actual _fuck_ was going on?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To those who might find the David thing a little odd, I have plans~ and, it was mostly for my benefit too, I've never written for this fandom before, and I've never written from Chloe's perspective. I needed to get a good grasp on her character. did I do alright?


	5. Hardship Can Wait

_Worthless, worthless, fucking worthless!_

Max was scratching hard at the broken skin of her palm, trying to grind her teeth to dust. She had almost fucked it up. she had almost fucked it up _so badly._

and now she was further than she'd ever been before and she was so _fucking scared-_

how many times had she run through the scenes up to this point? how many times had she run the script again and again and _again?_

How many times had things gone wrong? how many times did she mess up? she couldn't even fucking _remember anymore._

and she knew it was stupid, that she feared the future she didn't know. it was stupid, pathetic because she'd spent 18 years living day to day without any idea what the next day would be like before she got her powers.

but she didn't have people to protect then, did she? just had her pretentious, worthless little self. 

fuck, why couldn't she have just stayed boring? now her mind was so fucking twisted up. _fractured,_ her mind supplied, _fractured and bent and twisted, manic neurotic and- FUCK_

Max slammed her fist down on the arm of the chair with a snarl, the pain clearing her mind in a way nothing else could seem to. she paused though when a yelp sounded next to her, turning slowly to meet Rachel's tired, frightened eyes.

Max wilted immediately under that look. "Oh, y-you're awake... Sorry, I-" she tried to defend herself, explain away her manic actions, but nothing came out. she squirmed as Rachel continued to watch her. scared.

_scared of you,_ her mind taunted, _just as she should be._

shame hit her like a hot-flash, and she hurriedly removed herself from her chair, flashing the blonde a nervous half-smile. "I- I'm just gonna-" she stumbled, "Bathroom."

she couldn't look her in the eyes anymore. this had all been too much. ever since- ever since the darkroom Rachel flinched at her every action, eyeing her with that look.

Rachel Amber was afraid of her, and it was killing Max inside. it had never been her intention to cause fear, but she wasn't surprised at all.

monsters like her were to be feared. 

She only looked up when she'd made it in to the police station bathroom, casting the dirty mirror a scornful look.

Rachel feared her. Chloe would hate her. she needed to leave. she needed to run before Chloe showed up. she couldn't take the girl looking at her like that. it would hurt far too much.

she needed to run.

but she couldn't, could she? because she'd made a promise to Chloe in that dream, she said she'd be with Rachel.

but she wasn't sure how long she could stand this. she needed to break down, she needed- she needed-

Fuck. her hands quaked on the porcelain of the sink, her breathing picking up.

"No," she groaned out quietly, "not here..."

her grip tightened harshly on the edge of the sink, and a hiss left her clenched teeth at the pain in her hand.

mesmerized, she watched a small stream of crimson run from the back of her palm, dripping lazily from the stained sink onto the cracked tile floor. she laughed, breathlessly. they had special places in wards for people who damaged themselves like she did, she thought, knees trembling.

they also had special places in wards for people who thought they had superpowers.

Max just happened to be the unlucky fuck who actually did.

the thought made another unwelcome laugh bubble from her throat, the sound airy and choked.

faintly, through the storm of twisted emotion in her mind, a horrible thought jabbed at her.

_Blood on porcelain is really pretty..._

something between an amused smile and a horrified grimace gripped her face.

there it was again. her mind was torn in half, amused and horrified, laughing and crying, wanting to bleed and just wanting to sleep...

wanting to die, wanting to live.

there were two people fighting for the reigns of her mind, and when her knees buckled beneath her she didn't fight it. There, Max collapsed, shaking like a leaf in a dirty police station bathroom.

pathetic, worthless, and _alone._

she was splitting in half, and no one was there to hold her through it.

what a sad thought.

even sadder that it was only sad to her.

If a tree falls in a forest and no one's around to hear, does it even make a sound? 

If a girl breaks down in a bathroom and tells no one, did it ever even happen at all?

_'Nope! Rachel proved to me that much.'_

_...what?_

Max's brow furrowed. Rachel... hadn't done anything. Max met her yesterday... what were these memories? she couldn't... remember... 

every time she realized how out of place those memories were, they disappeared. what the fuck?

fear gripped her heart. something... something was very wrong.

she groaned a little, curling in on herself. she just wanted to fall into bed and never have to wake up again... no out of place memories or lives to save or futures she couldn't predict. no more spiraling...

she was so, so tired.

A soft knock sounded, and she blinked, snapping from her daze as the door slipped open. familiar blue hair peeked through the doorway, calling out a soft, "Max...?"

Max's lips twitched downward as the girl finally saw her, broken and tired on a bathroom floor.

Max sighed. not the reunion anyone wanted. she had to act like she was okay until she was alone again. she raised her right hand, keeping her gaze fixed on the floor.

she choked when a hand gripped hers though, looking up.

she hadn't even heard the other move, but she stood over her now, inspecting her damaged hand with pursed lips and a pinched expression. Max winced. even Chloe could tell how much of a freak she was.

when Chloe looked back at her, Max couldn't read her eyes. she had a knowing look to her, but what could she know? that Max did that to herself?

like a scratch was anything in comparison to the storm her mind had become.

her lips twitched. 

her mind had become the very thing she spent so long trying to prevent.

how sardonically hilarious. 

Chloe didn't say a word though, just tugging gently at her sleeve. _stand,_ she thought, _she's asking me to stand. get it together..._

In an effort not to appear as weak as she felt, she made sure not to shake or stumble as she stood. she didn't need Chloe feeling responsible for her, Rachel needed Chloe more than Max did.

Chloe wordlessly tugged her back to the sink and ran the tap. understanding, Max slipped her hand into the stream, letting the cool water carry the drying blood away from her skin.

she watched in fascination, watching it run down the drain. just drift away... down to the sewers or something. the ocean? or the septic tank and back into the ground?

her blood would water grass... or maybe tease a shark somewhere. the thought made her want to chuckle, but she didn't need Chloe thinking she was crazier than she already knew her to be. she pulled her hand from the stream and turned off the faucet, trying to smile at her blue-haired gi-...

her blue-haired friend.

Chloe blinked slowly at her. "you.." she paused, cleared her throat. 

"the dream...?" Chloe asked slowly. quietly. Max just nodded.

Chloe's electric eyes held an emotion Max recognized but couldn't name. "You... a cop told me that you... and Rach... that Rach... she... you..." Chloe's shoulders were shaking. Max gave her a sympathetic smile, cutting her off,

"It's alright. I promised it would be alright," she said lowly. Chloe blinked rapidly, a sound like a squeak leaving her. "It was real... holy fuck it was all real..." she breathed. Max couldn't help but laugh. "You have no idea," she whispered. 

"Chloe?"

they both looked back to the doorway. Rachel leaned heavily against it. "Chloe." the blonde repeated, "Take me home. take me home please?"

Chloe stared at her for a second before Max saw a familiar glint take her eyes and her expression harden.

classic Chloe, putting all of her questions aside for someone else's sake.

Max was so tired. she was barely holding onto her strength... she had to end this little meeting, as much as she wanted to collapse into Chloe's arms right there.

So Max found herself nodding along. "You two both deserve a long nap." she told them. Rachel's eyes narrowed at her, like she couldn't believe what she was hearing. Chloe turned to her though, expression heavy. "well too bad, soon as I get Rach home I have to-" "No." Max cut off smiling, "You don't."

she knew what the girl was about to say, of course she did. Frank.

"I took care of it," she told the punk, wanting to smirk at her wide-eyed stare.

"I- y- what!?" Chloe stammered out. Rachel was much more direct.

"You paid off Frank!?"

she sounded almost angry, confusing Max. then the girl was stomping up to her, eyes a green fire. "Okay, that's fucking it, who are you really!?" she snarled, jabbing Max in the chest with a finger.

Max gaped at her, before a sudden realization crashed into her like a train and she gasped.

_Oh._

She couldn't help it, she snorted, and that devolved into a full-on laughing fit, her mental state finally breaking. Rachel blinked at her in confusion as she laughed like a maniac. "I- oh my fucking _god-_ " she wheezed out, "all this.. all this shit and I never told you my fucking _name._ oh my fuck--" she laughed again, and Rachel froze. then, her lips twitched for the first time since they'd met.

then, Rachel was laughing too, her tired expression breaking into exhausted laughter. " _Fuck-_ " the blonde wheezed.

Chloe looked between them confusedly, looking lost, and it just made Max laugh harder, pointing at her. Rachel looked and also laughed harder, falling on her butt on the bathroom floor.

just two girls that had been through hell, laughing like maniacs who really needed naps.

they were though, really.

they both really _really_ needed naps.

"h-hey-" Rachel pointed at her, "I named you you know!"

Max blinked, grinning. "oh? what's my name?" she asked her, and then chuckled again at the absurdity of the question. Rachel giggled too. "Blue-eyes!" she told her. Max hummed.

Blue-eyes? sounded too cool for her. which was absurd because it was just the color of her eyes. how amusing. 

"well," max said, I like it. makes me sound more mysterious than I am."

Rachel frowned up at her. "You are though. mysterious."

Max laughed, shaking her head. "I'm not really. I'm not that cool. I'm a dork."

at this, Chloe finally spoke, "I can attest to that..."

Max looked back at her and grinned.

suddenly, Rachel's face lit up. "Oh!" she shouted suddenly, slapping the floor with her hand. 

"You're Max!"

of course Rachel would recognize her. Rachel Amber probably had like- a photographic memory or some shit.or Chloe just told her about how much of a dork she was.

also probable.

Rachel opened her mouth to speak again, but Chloe spoke first.

"Okayyyy, you two are obviously losing your minds, so let's get you out of a dirty bathroom so you can lose your minds in a controlled environment"

she sounded kinda nervous. it was really funny.

Rachel snorted. "Yes Chloe, because your bedroom is a top-notch controlled environment."

Max couldn't help but snicker.

Chloe rolled her eyes. "Fuckin hell, toddlers. alright, into the truck, now, I'm taking you home." Max started to nod, but squeaked when she was grabbed too. "w-wait, not me!" she called. Chloe gave her an unimpressed look from where she was dragging Rachel off the floor.

"And why is that?" the blunette snapped impatiently. Max gulped, the humor from before fading almost instantly. "no," she argued quietly, "I should go. I should..." Rachel looked at her confusedly, and Chloe's eyes hardened. "The fuck do you mean!?" she hissed, grip tightening a little on Max's sleeve. 

Max winced. "I- I just-" "I _just_ got you back! after five fucking _years_ , Max. so you planned to save Rachel and just fuckin' bail!?"

"without ever explaining how you saved me in the first place," Rachel added quietly, examining her closely.

Max shifted uncomfortably. she hadn't taken into consideration the idea that they might actually want her to stay. that was a problem. they shouldn't want her to stay...

"Look," Rachel said suddenly, making Max look up. the blonde looked... guilty? 

"I... I'm sorry for how I've been acting. since you got me out. I owe you... my life..." she breathed the last bit like the idea ripped the breath out of her. Max was sure it did. "I was just confused is all... you did things I can't explain and it scared me. but..." her eyes flickered, expression turning intense. 

"But that shouldn't matter. I'm gonna need you to tell me how the fuck you teleported, but you saved my fucking _life..._ "

Max shook her head even as she talked, But now it was Chloe's turn. "Max- I don't really know what the fuck is going on with you, but..." her electric eyes hardened, "I told you before. I need you back. don't I deserve to have you back for a little while?"

tears burned the edges of Max's eyes, and she snarled. "You don't _deserve_ all the _bullshit_ that comes with me!" she argued hotly. Chloe just scoffed. "Fuckin' look at me dude!" she growled, gesturing to herself, "You're clearly not the only one with baggage to burn!"

Max sighed aggravated, shutting her eyes to keep any tears from escaping. it had been a _long fucking day..._

"...I know how your mind works, Caulfield." she hesitantly looked back at Chloe. her eyes had softened, and she was biting her lip. then, she spoke again. "I know how you work... and..." she sighed, raking a hand through her gorgeous hair, "I know you think you're like. intruding or something. but if I showed up after ages of not talking to you and saved your best friend, and then just fucking vanished, how would you feel?"

Max blinked. she hadn't thought about that. Chloe glowered a little. "Did it never cross your mind at all that I might _miss you?_ "

Max's mouth fell open.

...oh.

her friend looked heartbroken at her apparent realization, and even Rachel looked sad. "Oh, sweetie..." the blonde started. they looked worried, worried about her, and it made Max want to curl up and disappear. she shifted uncomfortably, but Chloe still had her sleeve.

"Chlo, I've decided," Rachel said firmly, "We're adopting her. she's ours now." 

Max sputtered, but Chloe was already nodding. "Yeah, totally. right now. you're ours now, Max. now, you can come willingly or I can carry you home."

she was glaring, but the threat just made Max blush and stammer more. Rachel's eyes sparkled as she smirked. "Be a good girl blue-eyes, accept your fate."

_Be a good-_

if she had any hope of talking or saving face it was demolished now, she was a stuttering blushing mess, and she couldn't for the life of her force words out naturally. "n- I-I- you-" she eventually gave up, reached behind her head, and pulled her hood down over her blushing face.

"What is she doing and why is it so cute?" she heard Rachel whisper loudly. "It's her ultimate defense form. she thinks if she can't see us we can't see her" Chloe whisper-shouted back. Max went impossibly redder as Rachel gave that gorgeous, full-bodied laugh of hers.

"I..... hate both of you," Max told them. Chloe snickered. "Do I have to carry you, or are you coming, hippy?"

Max groaned. "Clearly I don't have a choice..."

"that's riiight~" Rachel's voice purred, way too close to her ear. she yelped, jumping away, only to be dragged back from where Chloe still gripped her sleeve. she was tugged into the girl's arms, hood flying off.

"A'ight, let's roll!" the punk yelled out, dragging her, yes literally dragging her through the bathroom doorway

"I can walk fine!" she protested as her sneakers bumped over the bottom of the door frame. Rachel snickered at her with tired eyes, leaning down to pick up her legs.

this _could not_ be happening

tucked under Chloe's arm with her feet held by Rachel Amber, Max's face was firetruck red, and she clung to the punks shoulder and waist for dear life. the position was awkward, if she let her head fall everything would be upside down, and everyone in the station was looking at them.

"Kidnapping!" she called to the nearest cop, "I'm being kidnapped!"

"Shut the fuck up, Max!" Chloe growled playfully, making a show of almost dropping her threateningly. Max squealed and clung tighter as Rachel laughed.

the officers around, plus the one who'd taken their statements and interrogated them for hours on end were smiling at them, and it just made Max flush harder at the thought of an authority figure seeing her in such a way.

the receptionist waved them goodbye on the way out, and Max wanted desperately to disappear.

except she was smiling, and it had been so very long since she last did that.

because being with these two felt entirely too natural, even though they had some serious stuff to talk about, even though they all had their own demons to fight. Rachel was tired and scared of what she didn't understand, but she was smiling at Max like it would be okay. Chloe was worried about everything, confused about what she didn't know, but she was smiling at Max like it mattered that she was there, like all of the hardship could wait just a minute.

she still had to tell them everything. had to explain to Rachel what had really happened in the darkroom. had to explain that they weren't in the clear just yet...

but.

Max was smiling genuinely for the first time in what felt like forever, and she desperately didn't want it to fade.

_Please,_ she begged whoever was listening, _please don't let this end..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did writing Max's mini mental breakdown make meeee have a mental breakdown and that's why this is a day late?
> 
> Noooo, of course not. what a foolish thought. you're foolish for thinking that, frankly.


	6. No Rest For The Wicked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I know it's been a minute... mental breakdowns are fun. anyway.
> 
> I'm honestly not sure if It's my head or if this chapter is honestly really shit, but I hate it. please tell me in the comments? like honestly.

God, it was hard being the responsible one.

And Chloe hated how often the responsibility fell to her, being friends with Rachel. fucking look at her, she didn't exactly look like the responsible type. or feel like it either...

but now she was nearing her house and had to think quickly, which was making her head throb. 

Jesus, was this how Max felt all the time? Chloe made a mental note to carry a portable fridge- wait, did portable fridges exist? probably not. okay- invent a portable fridge and carry it to give Max ice packs for her head whenever she had to be responsible...

fuck, Chloe was really close to the house now, after having gotten lost in thought about portable fridges which maybe did or didn't exist.

okay, uhm...

she flashed the girls next to her a look, and then felt her heart stutter in her chest.

they'd acquired a new position since falling asleep, one that nearly made Chloe crash the truck.

From where Rachel was tucked between the seat and the window, ever the sleep snatcher, she had scooped Max against her between her legs, arms wound tight over the hipster's shoulders as her chin rest on her shoulder.

Max had her sleeves over her hands which hooked over Rachel's arms like one of those cute kitten pictures, her nose buried in Rachel's arms. or more, the jacket Rachel wore.

which was Chloe's jacket.

as if Chloe's heart wasn't already hammering, Max took that moment to nuzzle into Rachel, and Rachel in turn pressed closer.

overcome with a feeling Chloe couldn't understand, she turned back to the road, face feeling hot. what heterosexuality anyways? Chloe sure wasn't familiar with the term.

but a pressing thought made her bite her lip. which one had she been staring at, exactly?

she shook her head. responsibility now, gay later.

she came to a conclusion when she was pulling into the Price driveway, nodding to herself as she killed the engine and pulled out her phone. tapping on a familiar contact, she began to type.

_'mom, i need you and David out of the way for a sec'_

almost immediately a reply came.

_'What did you get into now?'_

Chloe huffed a little but couldn't blame the woman for the assumption. she took a deep breath. responsible, she reminded herself.

_'i'm with rach and max. something terrible happened to both of them, and i know you want to say hi but they're really tired. i'd like to take them up to my room to sleep before I come down and tell you what the feds told me if that's okay'_

she waited a minute too long for a reply, dimming her fingers softly on the steering wheel as she looked between her phone and the sleeping girls next to her.

_'This is David. This sounds serious. You will tell us after they're in bed?'_

Chloe held back the urge to be spiteful. responsible, she growled in her mind again.

_'yeah. just let me get them to bed, they've been through enough today.'_

she hesitated, forcing a gag down as she tapped out an added _'please'_. eugh! she felt dirty. dirty and gross and eW.

then a reply came and she forced a deep breath into her lungs, putting her feelings aside. 

_'We're in the bathroom, just knock when they're all tucked in.'_

she sighed. responsibility success! now to responsibly get these two up to bed... and Chloe knew for a fact that neither of them liked being woken up.

responsibility almost a success...

she looked back at the two girls, trying to logic out the best way to do this.

waking up Max was easier, but she shouldn't wake her up first. if Max woke up being cuddled and stared at she might blow a fuse, and then she'd be too busy bullying herself about sleep-cuddling someone to stay sleepy enough to fall back to sleep.

it sounded dumb, but Max was dumb like that sometimes.

Max was typically just quietly whiny when she got woken up, trying to pay attention but failing as her body called her back.

Rachel was a bit harder. manageable, but harder.

she was a decently heavy sleeper, but shaking her too hard would just make her glare at you and swat you away. a grumpy Rachel was never fun to deal with. typically if you didn't piss her off while waking her, she'd wake and look at you. 

In Chloe's experience, you had about nine seconds to state why you'd dare wake the princess before she decided you weren't worth her time anymore, and if you gave your answer in those nine seconds she'd judge whether it was worth moving for. Waking Rachel was probably the safest bet.

so, Chloe slid across the bench of the truck seat, beginning the now all too familiar routine of waking up Rachel Amber.

she slid her hand up the girl's shoulder, shaking her gently. "Rach," she whispered, running her thumb across the girl's collar, "Rach..." the girl stirred but didn't move, so Chloe shook her a little harder.

it took a while, but slowly, those hypnotic eyes blinked open, giving Chloe a look that could only be described as _"cake or death?"_

Chloe didn't laugh, as much as she'd like to, and instead smiled at her gently. "Let's get you and Max inside okay? the bed will be more comfortable."

Rachel examined her silently, judging her request.

then she huffed, unwrapping an arm from Max to rub her eyes. Chloe had won.

with responsibility and logic. hell to the yes.

"Going back to bed after." Rachel said quietly in that low, gravelly voice Chloe loved. "Yeah. sleep as long as you want," she told her as the girl slowly unwound from around Max's body. Max whined quietly in her sleep, wiggling more into Rachel. Chloe and Rachel shared a look of _'oh fuck, my heart'_ before they resigned themselves to having to wake the girl up.

Chloe shook the girl gently while Rachel sleepily ran her hand through messy brown hair, but much to Chloe's surprise the motions woke the girl almost instantly. Max had been much harder to wake when they were kids...

Chloe's heart panged as those bright eyes hardened considerably after a second, even in her sleepy state. so much had changed about Max... Chloe just wished she knew why.

well. they'd all talk when the two woke up. they deserved a nap, the both of them...

and Chloe desperately needed to get off her chest what she'd learned, even if it was to her mother and David.

with that thought in mind, she smiled at the girls before her, gesturing vaguely to the house. "Let's get you to bed, then you can sleep more," she told them. Rachel hummed quietly and Max just nodded, silent. 

and yeah, maybe watching Rachel gracelessly topple out of the truck made Chloe snicker quietly to herself for a second, but she was still being responsible damnit! responsible people could still laugh at other people's misfortune, right? right?

"what about Joyce and David?" Max mumbled sleepily as she followed Rachel out of the truck into the late evening air.

Chloe tensed instantly, her proverbial hackles raised. "How the fuck do you know about-..." she cut herself off at Max's wide-eyed stare, grinding her teeth.

 _questions later,_ she reminded herself, despite the eerie feeling she got from how much Max seemed to really know.

like with Frank. how had she had any fucking idea about that? moreover, how the fuck had she paid that off!? at least Chloe had nowhere to be now...

she let out a ragged sigh. "They won't stop us," she answered, gesturing the two towards the house, "But I'll have to talk them off in a couple minutes."

Max nodded numbly, following her silently to the door. 

Chloe kept an eye on Max as she let them in, and realized something important.

her face didn't change at the sight of the house she hadn't been inside in five years, or at least not the way Chloe assumed it should. she didn't look nostalgic or sentimental like she should have, instead, she looked... relieved. like the relief Chloe had felt when she finally had Rachel in her arms again at the station or the relief of being home after the long day.

Max had worn the same look in the dream where Chloe met her, sparing not even a second glance at how different Chloe looked now.

then added to her earlier anxiety, about what all Max knew... Chloe did plan to let them sleep, but they were going to have a talk afterwards. a long talk.

still, though, she made sure to not let any of her worries show on her face, lest Max spiral into her thoughts. that wouldn't help anything.

she smiled instead, swinging her door open. "Welcome to my lair!" she introduced, gesturing wildly at the messy palace.

ohhh. she hadn't cleaned. whoops.

Rachel snorted as she surveyed the place. "Damn price, looks like a tornado ran through here."

Chloe noticed Max's subtle flinch, but max spoke before she could. "Hours after you go missing, Chloe knows something's wrong and breaks down, tearing her room apart." she muttered quietly.

Chloe recoiled, flashing the brunette a horrified look.

what- what the _**fuck-**_ -

deeply aghast and more than a little frightened by the knowledge Max shouldn't have, Chloe turned her eyes to Rachel who...

didn't seem to share the same sentiment.

instead, the blonde was looking at her with a familiar look in her eyes, one Chloe had seen a couple of times before.

her mind replayed images like a T.V, Rachel under the neon glow of a streetlight, Rachel in a sterile hospital bed, Rachel looking at Chloe like her universe couldn't move if Chloe wasn't part of it.

it made something tug at Chloe's chest, something that made her mind spin and stomach tighten.

she painted on a grin, taking a step back out the door, but Rachel was already moving.

in less than a second Chloe was wrapped tight in warm arms, hot breath tickling her ear. her body almost convulsed, Chloe couldn't tell you why. she gasped in the warm smell of jasmine like she'd die without it, her own arms coming up to wrap around the other without her consent.

she was awash in a feeling she couldn't name, something like desperation mixed with relief, and she closed her eyes when Rachel buried a hand in her hair.

Chloe absolutely melted under the feeling of those fingers scratching gently at her scalp, a feeling she would never admit she missed.

she felt Rachel sigh against her neck. "I'm sorry, old faithful" the blonde murmured, hold tightening, "I didn't even think..." 

Chloe gulped. "H-hey, you were kinda locked in a creepy basement..." she reminded the other, trying to be reassuring. the words though, she realized with a cringe, were the opposite of reassuring. Rachel didn't seem to mind though, the angel.

"I didn't stop thinking about you. the whole time." Rachel admitted quietly, and then with a shaky laugh, "I... you have no idea how fucking scared it made me when I thought I might never see you again..." her voice was shaking and so was Chloe.

then, before Chloe could sort her jumbled emotions into a coherent thought, Rachel pulled back, her eyes serious and shiny with unshed tears. she held Chloe's face in her hands, leering up at her in a way that made her breath catch. "I'm here now," Rachel told her firmly.

"I'm here, home, and I'm safe. I'm home, and I'm never leaving your side ever again, okay? It's okay now, Chloe." she was looking into Chloe's eyes with that look. that look that said she could see every little part of her that Chloe had walled in, every little part that no one else had ever seen, and she held it in the highest regard.

Fuck, how did she always know what to say? how could this girl read her so fucking easily?

Chloe closed her eyes, breathing in. that was just it, wasn't it? she could breathe now. she could finally breathe...

gradually, her shoulders slumped, and Chloe could fucking _feel_ her face soften. how long had she been tensed up? why hadn't she noticed until now?

Fucking Rachel.

she opened her eyes to smile at the girl, genuinely. "Thanks, Angel" she murmured quietly. it felt awkward, exposing such affection to Rachel's eyes, but the way the girl's face lit up left Chloe with no regrets.

"I'm gonna get to bed now, I think Max is getting lonely." the blonde teased, dropping her hands.

Chloe blinked.

_oh. Max._

She looked up to find the girl watching her, eyes glassy, like she was staring into space. her expression was unnervingly empty as she seemed to- what, reminisce? wh-

Rachel pecked her on the cheek, snapping her eyes back to hypnotic green.

"Join us when you're done, won't you priceless?" she murmured, eyeing Chloe in that calculating way Rachel was so good at.

Chloe nodded dumbly, reaching a hand up to touch the ghost of a kiss on her cheek. "Uh," she managed, "Sure..."

Rachel's eyes sparkled, dull as it was, and the blonde winked before turning on her heal and throwing herself at Max.

Literally.

Chloe shut the door on Max's squeal and Rachel's echoed laughter, the ghost of a smile on her lips.

 _Yes,_ she thought, _girl appears to be sad? tackle her._

Chloe would have to try that someday.

except no, she didn't need a lawsuit on top of the debt she already owed.

the debt she didn't have anymore, she remembered with a frown.

fuck, she needed to tell someone what she'd been told. she felt much better, after talking to Rachel, but she needed to get this off her chest. 

she tapped softly on the bathroom door.

almost instantly it opened, David facing her with serious eyes.

even as her skin crawled, she reasoned that it didn't matter. she just had to tell someone, even if that someone was Mr. Porn Mustache himself. so, biting down a scathing greeting, she just gestured silently to the stairs. David eyed her door for a second before nodding, walking past her.

because he just had to be first down the fucking stairs, didn't he?

Chloe held back a resisting tug as Joyce gently gripped her arm, trying to be reassuring. because it was clear by now that that always worked.

But Chloe withheld the urge to growl like a rabid dog at her mother, following her obediently downstairs.

David, to her surprise, got to work instantly preparing a cup of coffee. Chloe didn't know he knew how to make coffee all by himself. in a weird way, she was sort of proud of him. she'd thought his ass would be sagging from overuse by now.

she was broken by this train of thought by her mother ushering her towards a dining table chair, a seat which Chloe hesitant took. she looked up at her mother, tired, but eager to finally share her thoughts. she just couldn't keep it inside anymore.

"The cops told me some real fucked up shit." she started in right away. Joyce gave her an appraising look, nodding at her to continue. Chloe took a deep breath. 

"They said that Rach... well. I should probably clarify a few things first..." she was about to start in when a steaming beverage was placed in front of her, making her blink and look up.

she looked between the coffee and David. "I'm not gonna sugar your drink asshole, I'm no housewife." she snapped tiredly. she watched his expression twitch, but he kept eye contact with her. "It's for you." he gruffed quietly.

her jaw dropped. "Why?" came her instant interrogation.

He blinked at her, gaze earnest. "You've come to us with a serious conversation which you intend to treat like a serious conversation," he told her, "That means you have my attention and respect..." finally, his eyes averted and she shifted, a little uncomfortable. "You look like caffeine might help some."

Chloe blinked at him, utterly shellshocked as he moved to take his seat next to Joyce.

slowly, Chloe lifted the mug to her lips, taking a sip.

it was a little bitter...

Chloe couldn't find it in her to complain.

she shook her head. later. think about this later...

she cleared her throat. "Thanks... she said slowly. then, she shook her head. "At Blackwell, there's a photography course," she began, her parent and step-parent listening intently, David nodding. "Jefferson," he said a little scathingly. a shared sentiment then.

"And it just so happens that the teacher's a fucking creep. apparently he..." her stomach churned, "He grabbed Max off the street, poked a needle in her neck, and knocked her out."

her grip tightened on her mug. Max must have been so scared...

"He did the same with Rach hours later." she hissed out, glaring into their eyes. "What kinda sicko does that!? hours!"

Joyce had a hand over her mouth, her eyes horrified, and David refused to look up from his lap, no doubt troubled by what had gone on right under his nose.

"Then he took them down to some bunker underground with the help of Nathan-" "Nathan Prescott!?" Growled David, interrupting her. Chloe nodded. "They took some sick photos of them all drugged out... except Max wasn't."

Joyce appeared to be shaking a little, looking towards the stairs. David just looked angry. very angry, and sick to his stomach. they agreed on something for once then.

it was nowhere near as sick and angry as Chloe felt though.

"Doctors found traces of some kind of anti-narcotic," Chloe continued, "The sicko wanted Max awake for something I guess. But I guess it took effect sooner than he thought, because she sobered up almost the instant she woke up."

this was the part that made Chloe's skin prickle, and she had to take a deep breath. another sip of coffee.

"Apparently the assholes got into an argument or something. Nathan started waving a gun and the fight turned physical. Max using their hissy fit to untie herself and then Rachel, snatched a syringe off the table and stabbed Jeffershit in the neck. he went down and Nathan freaked and ran..." at its, she spat, "Like a fucking coward. all that shit and the bastard just _ran._ "

her hands were shaking, Chloe realized as her mother settled her hands on top of Chloe's. Chloe pulled her own hands away. she couldn't even bring herself to care, she was disgusted and angry to the core. David was faring no better, face slowly reddening with rage.

"Apparently max heard him scream and then hit something? she was obviously terrified, grabbing Jeffershit's phone to call the cops..."

Chloe snarled, fury boiling in her stomach, "The cops showed just as Nathan was waking up. a concussion, they're saying. Rachel couldn't even stand on her own and was freaking the fuck out, full-on panic attack. Max was barely conscious, breathing like she ran a fucking marathon and bleeding from the nose..." 

Chloe forced out a ragged, tense sigh between her clenched teeth. she needed to calm the fuck down before she broke something. from the way David was clenching the tabletop though, she wasn't the only one.

"Ambulance was called. Got them to the hospital. Got Rachel detoxing and got Max's blood sugar back up. then they were kicked to the station to make their statements and I was called when Rach finished hers... I..." her voice broke, and she had to close her eyes for a second. "I'm so fucking angry. I was so worried, so fucking worried, and if that sicko hadn't messed up..." 

her eyes blurred with tears, which she hurriedly blinked away.

"I get it."

she locked eyes with David, seeing his solemn expression.

"You want to hurt someone, maybe more than you ever have, but you can't. whether you realize it or not Chloe, you've taken a protector role. one I don't..." he paused, eyes softening and he spoke quieter, "One I _didn't_ think you were ready for. but you see it now, right? you _feel_ it."

David? feelings? what?

he reached a hand up to rub a spot on his shoulder. one where Chloe knew a scar lay on the skin beneath.

"If you're breakneck about the feeling inside you right now, you'll get hurt. or worse, get _them_ hurt. so if there's _one thing_ you're going to listen to that I say, let it be this:" his eyes narrowed as he leaned forward, and Chloe felt her breath catch.

for a second there, David almost looked like...

No.

"You've... assigned yourself to this role. you have to either live up to or back down now. those girls are gonna depend on you, so you can't be reckless. control your anger and keep them safe. stay by them. that's your..." his eyes softened again, and he leaned back. "That's _our_ job."

Chloe couldn't reply, couldn't form words. her mind was dealing and she could feel her heartbeat. this conversation felt significant. his _words_ felt significant, and they shouldn't because they were spoken by a dildo with a bad mustache.

but they pierced right through a wall in Chloe's mind, one that had been there for a very long time now.

she... suddenly wasn't so angry anymore. for sure, she knew it'd return, but now Chloe felt... uneasy. she had... a lot to think about.

She downed the rest of her coffee in two short gulps. "I'm... Rachel told me to come back so. I'm gonna go lay with them now."

David nodded slowly, and Joyce cleared her throat.

Chloe glanced at her. the woman's eyes were wet, her hands trembling a little where they gripped the table edge. "When..." Joyce breathed deeply, "When Max wakes up, I would very much like to have a word with her. and you can bet your ass that the three of you are getting a hell of a breakfast." she spoke, her voice gravelly. 

Chloe couldn't help the twitch at her lips. "I'll tell her... thanks Mom," she uttered quietly back. Joyce nodded.

without a word, Chloe rose slowly, feeling an ache in her joints she hadn't noticed before. she'd been so tense, no wonder.

amazing how she hadn't even realized. amazing how Rachel could soothe that out of her immediately.

but then again, figured Chloe, so could Max right? seeing the other laugh earlier, seeing that smile on her face, filled Chloe with a wile, untamed happiness, one no other human could quite deliver like Max. she'd always had that effect on Chloe...

Damn, Chloe must have missed her even more than she thought, she was feeling kind of...

she shut that thought down as she swung her bedroom door open, freezing at the sight before her. 

Max and Rachel were awake, and Chloe got the distinct impression she'd missed something important.

Max was sat on the bed, her face buried in Rachels's chest where the girl hugged her tightly. Max wasn't hugging back, she was limp, and the air in the room was heavy. "You poor thing," Chloe heard Rachel whisper, could see tears in her eyes.

_what the actual fuck?_

Chloe tensed as Rachel looked at her. "You," she said sternly, making Chloe flinch slightly, "you two need to talk, like, right fucking now. fuck sleep. you need to hear this."

"Uhm..." Chloe looked from Rachel's intense expression to Max's partially obscured form. she had definitely missed something. she gulped as Max raised her head, her expression blank. 

"Come sit down," the brunette ordered quietly, voice empty, "we need to talk." 

Chloe shivered under that blank gaze.

"...okay..." she agreed quietly, hesitantly nodding.

This had all gotten so dramatic so fast. when would she get a break?

What the actual fuck was she getting herself into?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thissss is really bad. I feel like it's really bad. oh dear. i'm gonna have to delete this huh. ugHHhH


	7. Everything Is Breaking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE OUT LIKE A WEEK AGO! I DIDN'T KNOW, I'M SO SORRY T~T  
> I just kept thinking, "it's been over a week, why is my inbox empty? it wasn't that bad was it?" UH, NO, DUMBASS, YOU NEVER UPDATED IT!
> 
> I'm very sorry, I don't know how that happened!!

"Eight times."

Max observed her blue-haired friend closely where she stood in the center of the room, trying not to shake. "We've had this conversation eight times in all. once in this timeline alone..."

Chloe's face twisted up in perplexed annoyance, eyes worried in a way Max hated. "the fuck are you talking about Max? are you two playing with me?" the punk asked warily, examining her.

Max rose from the bed slowly to her feet. "I'll show you," she promised.

Chloe stepped back as Max stepped towards her, eyes flashing nervously. "h-hey... what are you-" Max leaned up and snatched the beenie right off her best friend's head, continuing forward despite Chloe's indignant squawk.

"Max, what the fuck-"

She turned when she reached the door, leaning her back against it. Chloe looked nervous. this would be hard. Max wondered faintly if they'd make her leave after this. Chloe never did in any other timeline, but you never know. Max did crash hers and Rachel's party after all.

as Chloe opened her mouth to protest further, Max took a deep breath and raised her right hand.

she kind of wanted to run right then, seeing time shift backward, and she hoped that this would be over with as soon as possible.

Chloe froze in front of her, staring at where Max had previously been standing. "What the fuck!?"

Max sighed loudly to get the other's attention, smiling wryly when the punk whirled around to gawk at her, eyes wide.

she held up the beenie, cocking her head. "yeah," she said to Chloe's aghast expression, "I know."

"How-" Chloe choked, reaching a hand up to touch her head.

"How the actual fuck did you do that?"

that was what she'd said last time too. Max sighed. "I can rewind time," she said slowly, tiredly. oh, she was so tired. Nine times now...

God, please let this be the last time. please...

but she'd prayed for that last time too.

She watched Chloe's face bloom in the now-familiar expressions of confused shock, then wary uncertainty, then dubious excitement. and despite herself, she smiled at the childish grin that blossomed on the punk's face, even though it made her heart ache hollowly.

Technically, now that she thought about it, weren't they exes? the thought made the smile fall from her face instantly, her chest tightening painfully. fuck. Chloe was her ex, wasn't she?

Ex-girlfriend. the term made her actually want to cry... oh wow.

the was brought back to the present by Chloe practically bouncing as she laughed. "Holy fuck... that's... that's so cool! Max..." no, she was definitely bouncing.

"Show me again! you have to show me again for me to believe you." she was grinning that loveable grin as she said this, and both of them knew that she already did, but Max indulged her with a smile.

"It does explain a lot, doesn't it?" a voice chimed in as Chloe stole back her beenie.

she shot a glance at Rachel, remembering that she was there too.

the blonde was watching with unreadable eyes, but a small smile graced her lips. still, Max was nervous, remembering what they'd been talking about before Chloe walked in.

the conversation had only started because Rachel had looked at her with that frustrating smirk and said "So, you're in love." and Max...

who needs lungs anyways? 

she had told Rachel the truth. Rachel knew. Rachel would probably want her gone soon.

but the girl had almost cried when she explained it, so maybe not... no, she shouldn't be hopeful. hopeful never helped her anymore.

she just had to take everything as it happened. as long as she didn't cry it should be fine, even if they did kick her out after this. even if they hated her. 

she'd accept it. she'd move with it. like improv. 'yes, and...' Rachel must be really good at that huh? everything Rachel did seemed to be 'yes and'. if that... made sense? jeez, she was confusing herself now...

Rachel and Chloe looked really nice together. Red and blue, right? But Max was more like... lighter blue. maybe green or something? fuck, actually... she must be gray now. gray and cold and lifeless and neurotic like that storm.

gray didn't suit blue. it just made it sadder. more dismal. and gray definitely didn't suit red. it just made it mucky and brown. dulled its radiance. 

Gray and blue made sad skies and funeral services. gray and red made blood stains and mud-tracked carpets. truly, gray belonged nowhere near blue or red. she-

"Fuck sake space cadet, where'd you go? YO!"

Max flinched, yanked from her thoughts by hands on her shoulders, shaking her.

Chloe. the blunette cocked her head, analyzing her. "Did I break you man? 'can't compute' or...?"

she was joking, but her eyes were worried, Max could see it. she did her best to ease it away as she smiled. "Sorry. I guess some things never change huh? I didn't mean to zone out..."

Chloe's eyes narrowed, searching her face. Max wasn't sure if he found anything or not, but slowly Chloe nodded, taking a step back and letting go of her shoulders.

she had been awfully close, hadn't she? Max hadn't realized how much she missed that. fuck...

Rachel was watching her with lion's eyes, and Max was unsure what it meant, but it was intimidating. she took a step back, frowning apologetically. she'd crossed a line...

but Rachel continued to watch her, expression never changing. Max's growing nervousness was becoming apparent and she knew it, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot.

she shrank, unsure of what she was doing wrong but desperate to remedy it.

Max continued to squirm in place for a second longer before Chloe snorted, startling her. 

"Calm your tits dude, that's just how her face looks." she chortled, and Rachel blinked.

her expression remained exactly the same as she spoke, "Shhh, I'm having fun, she can't read me at all."

Chloe leaned in as Max basked in confusion. "she did that to me a lot in the beginning too." she whispered. realizing she was being messed with, Max sighed in relief, unsure whether she was smiling or frowning. grimacing probably. she tried to smile.

"You," said Rachel, eyes ever calculating, "are way too polite."

Max laughed a little. "so Chloe tells me." she responded. Rachel opened her mouth, eyes sharp, but Chloe interrupted her before she could speak.

"yeah yeah, Rachel's an asshole, you're not, now use your superpower again!"

Chloe was bouncing on her heels, her expression not unlike that of an excited puppy's. Max's chest tightened again. this was downright painful.

how cruel.

she smiled as best she could though, nodding her head. "What do you want me to-" "I have one."

her eyes snapped back to Rachel, a little surprised. Rachel leaned slowly back on the bed, running her fingers through her blonde mane. green eyes sparkled, absolutely predatory.

"I want you," the blonde purred very slowly,

"to kiss us both. Then I want you to come back and tell me who the better kisser is."

Max choked immediately, breaking into a coughing fit. Chloe had a similar reaction, before cracking up in hysterical laughter. Max wasn't sure she shared the sentiment. it did make her lungs jolt with the beginnings of a bitter sort of hilarity though, which she quickly shoved back down.

she was certain that this was the part where the earth swallowed her whole, but the wood beneath her feet showed no interest in doing so. she was bright red and she knew it, shock and hysteria lighting her nerves on fire.

"I..." she wheezed, unsure of what she wanted to say. what was she supposed to say? 

"Or," Rachel said with a wicked grin, "you can just concoct a believable lie... if you're able to." her grin widened and Chloe fucking cackled by her side like a hyena. she shouldn't even be surprised. it was Rachel after all. 

you should never try to prognosticate a Rachel. they have ailments you could never understand. mental ones, apparently.

what the fuck was her game here? Max's head hurt just thinking about it. was she joking? you could never tell with a Rachel. Max peered at the offending Rachel.

"Are you joking?" she questioned the Rachel.

she had meant to sound strong, but it came out as a weird squeak, like a wet rat with asthma. 

that... that was an image.

but that image was nothing in comparison to Rachel's evil grin two seconds later. the sight actually made Max choke on air as Rachel tsked.

"Now now Blue-eyes, don't you want me to believe you?" she purred, then her eyes narrowed dangerously and she leaned forward, the sun through the window highlighting her, making her picturesque.

Much to her frustration, Rachel continued to look gorgeous as Max tried to find it in her to be angry. "I met you yesterday!" she said exasperatedly. Chloe snorted loudly as Rachel grinned.

"I set a forest on fire, got Chloe expelled, made plans to run away with her, basically proposed to her on stage, and then made out with her under a streetlight all within like two days of meeting her. I get what I want fast, sweetie. besides..."

her eyes glimmered. "It's fun, isn't it? because I've been watching. you're one of those sweet little things who can't lie. and you blush easily, Therefore it will be fairly obvious if you do this or not, thus proving or disproving your _alleged_ time powers."

Max squawked in bafflement. "There are so many other ways to do this!" she protested a little too loudly.

"it's just a kiss Blue-eyes. the french do it to say hi." she cut in again as Max began to protest that that was definitely not the same thing.

"I remain unconvinced..." Rachel drawled, resting her chin on her hand as her eyes sparkled evilly, "Are you convinced Chlo?"

Max's fingers twitched as Chloe grinned, a faint redness to her cheeks. "Oh absolutely not. such a shame..." she turned a fake disapproving look on Max, though she failed to smooth out the shit-eating grin on her face.

"I'm disappointed in you hippy. all this power mumbo jumbo and I actually thought for a second that you were telling the truth... such a shame really, such a sh- _hmph!_ "

she was cut off by her own grunt of surprise as Max grabbed the collar of her jacket and dragged her down. she inspected the other's shocked face for a second, feeling their breaths intertwine. no going back now... she sighed, but it sounded more like a growl.

"I just want to make it clear that I hate both of you," she murmured, voice strained. she'd wanted to do this since she saw Chloe, but she knew that it would only make things more painful. this was going to make things so much worse. why was she fucking doing it then!?

she tightened her hold. "I'm such an idiot." she spat venomously. Chloe had just enough time to look worried for her before Max pressed their lips together, eliciting a gasp from the punk. something like a firework went off in Max's chest, and it was absolutely nothing like the books described.

because this wasn't a first kiss. this was a cool drink of water after having dehydrated in a desert for months on end. this was returning home after a horrible day. this was... well, home. Chloe was home.

she shuddered against Chloe, and this seemed to finally unfreeze her. Chloe gripped her waist, settling into their kiss. the action wasn't unfamiliar, this is what always happened, but Chloe couldn't know that. 

Max leaned more heavily against her, melting into the familiar warmth she'd missed so much

the punk moved clumsily against her, awkwardly, and it was ironic. her mind circled back at the familiarity, and a memory surfaced in Max's mind, tearing her away from the current moment in a heartbeat.

_Max huffed as she pulled away, glaring at Chloe. "I know I'm bad, but you don't need to laugh..." she muttered without any real malice. Chloe grinned, eyes sparkling. that didn't happen too often anymore, so Max wasn't actually angry. "No, it's adorable. I just..." she laughed, reaching a hand up to scratch at her head. her cheeks dusted pink._

_"I'm not really your first kiss, am I?"_

_Max flushed, looking away. "what about it?" she muttered, refusing to meet the other's eyes, looking instead at the hotel sheets they lay on. Chloe choked next to her, bouncing the mattress with how fast she pushed herself up on her elbow. "wait, I am? how? why? you could do so much better."_

_it was a joke, but Max still glared at her. "I literally couldn't." she stated firmly, "and... I don't know. it just. never came up?"_

_she was turning redder by the second, biting her lip when Chloe didn't respond immediately. "...Chl-" she let out something like a squeak of surprise when tugged in for another kiss. she melted just like she always did at the familiar taste of cigarettes and candy. bittersweet... hah. she smiled as Chloe pulled her against her._

_when Chloe pulled back she didn't go very far, and her expression took Max's breath away._

_her smile was so fucking... warm. it was warm. and so were her eyes. Max wasn't sure she'd ever seen Chloe look that... soft._

_Chloe's smile just got more earnest as she looked at her. when Chloe spoke, her voice was soft in a way Max rarely ever heard and was low enough to make Max shiver._

_"don't be embarrassed, dork. if anything, thanks for saving it for me... because now..." she leaned until their noses touched. "I get to teach you..." she paused, half an inch away from Max's lips._

_her eyes sparkled like sapphires as she looked at Max. "I do love you, you know," Chloe told her quietly, the weight of all they'd been through shining in her eyes._

_Max's eyes widened, the air escaping her. "Chloe..."_

_"No, I mean it." her girlfriend told her softly, "I didn't say it enough. to Mom. I didn't say it. I'm not going to make that mistake again."_

_she felt kind of like crying. she didn't even have to think about it. not after everything that had happened. not when Chloe was all she had left. "I love you too."_

_they kissed again. she felt safe for the first time in a long time. she felt okay for the first time in a long time..._

Max leaned back finally, closing her eyes to keep from tearing up

Stop it, she told herself. you don't live there anymore. you're not with her anymore...

she licked her lips, wanting to laugh. This Chloe didn't taste like cigarettes and candy. only cigarettes. this was not a bittersweet story. it was only bitter.

she took a step backward, hearing Chloe let out a shaky breath. "holy shit, I... didn't think you'd actually..." her heart panged and she smiled sadly, opening her eyes to Chloe's look of bewildered haziness.

"That's what you said last time too."

Max turned then, but the sharp intake of breath was all she needed to know that Chloe had figured out what that meant.

not that it would matter. it would all be erased soon...

when she met Rachel's eyes she paused, taking in the odd expression.

it was a whole new kind of calculating in comparison to what Max had seen before and much more complex. worried maybe? she watched Rachel worry her lip between her teeth for a moment, and a hazy memory gripped her, dissolving before she could grasp it... she knew this expression on Rachel. she wasn't sure how. maybe when they'd met yesterday- damn, it had only been yesterday huh?

either way, she knew how to fix it.

she sauntered forward, fixing a small grin on her face. she sank onto the mattress next to the blonde, bumping their shoulders together. "I can't remember why," she said with sudden authority, "but earlier I pictured a wet rat with asthma?"

Rachel let out a sudden burst of laughter, the tension in her eyes breaking instantly. "You fucking what?" she choked out, looking at Max like she'd never seen her before. Max grinned. "I think it was concerning me. but then," she went on, surprised to hear herself almost purring, "I looked at you, and you were just sitting there all model-ey and shit, and I came to a conclusion."

wildly amused, Rachel leaned closer, green eyes brimming with electric energy. "Oh~? and what conclusion was that?" she asked, voice pleasant, eyes bright.

Max grinned wider. "you're a lot prettier than a wet rat with asthma." she told her. Rachel laughed, long and loud, and Max was delighted to learn that the girl snorted when she laughed. somehow though, it felt familiar, warm in her heart.

almost like with Chloe.

her chest clenched slightly at the thought, though she couldn't wipe the smile from her face. 

Rachel leaned against her then, still laughing.

"I am so glad," she said, "that you think I'm prettier than a drowned asthma rat... for the record though..." she leaned in close, until all Max could smell was warm jasmine and something else. something comforting and grounding.

"I wouldn't compare you to a drowned asthma rat, Max."

Max snorted. "Well I didn't exactly wake up this morning _planning_ to compare myself to a drowned asthma rat, but you seem to make unplanned things happen, _Rachel._ " 

Rachel cackled, chest heaving.

"Can you imagine! hm, what do I have to do today? oh, that's right..." Maax couldn't help but join in. "C-compare myself to a drowned asthma rat around dinner time. mhm..." she trailed off when Rachel moved upwards, straddling her suddenly.

"You know," she said lowly as she settled a hand on Max's shoulder, "most people would just call me hot and move along with their day."

"well," Max muttered, throat suddenly feeling very dry, "I'm not like most people..."

she couldn't think straight with Rachel's heat on top of her, her eyes boring into her, in fact 'straight' was the last thing on her mind at this moment.

it felt like her mind was very far away, the sight and sounds in front of her barely registering.

Rachel's eyes narrowed, that predatory look from before settling back on her face. "No..." she agreed quietly, tracing her fingers up Max's shoulders to her neck, "You're really not..."

Max shuddered as Rachel's nails ran up her throat, and Rachel very clearly noticed because she traced them back down and up again.

Max shuddered again, static crackling at the end of every nerve. Rachel just had that effect on people she guessed...

when her nails ran back up her neck they settled on her jaw, cupping it with surprising tenderness.

"Let me tell you a secret Maxine," Rachel murmured, and Max hated how good she made that awful name sound.

she nodded, and Rachel smirked, running circles over her cheek with her thumb. Rachel's hands were really warm...

"I really really don't like sharing." whispered the blonde, "It's one of the only things I never got right in school. the other little kids would be like, "Can I please have that pencil?" and I'd be like, "No, we already have a family and seven fish and a son named Timothy, you're not taking him away from me"... that being said."

she leaned until their noses brushed, her marauding eyes freezing Max in place. what was she talking about? pencils and fish? she could barely-

"I'm very greedy," Rachel told her, her smooth voice leaving Max thoughtless. 

"adults have always gotten onto me for wanting too much. I have a particular flavor for things I can't have. but I think if I treat what I have right, why can't I have it all? in a world with so many assholes, everything I want..." she smirked down at Max, "is better off with me anyways. would you agree Max? do you think I deserve what I want?"

"Are you... trying to hypnotize me?" Max asked suddenly, fairly certain it was working if she was. Rachel laughed, light and happy.

"I'd answer the question Blue-eyes," she stated, an odd emotion swirling in her eyes.

"do you... deserve what you want? Uhm..." she bit her lip, head running overtime. Rachel just laughed at her pinched expression. "Don't bust a vein darling, I'm not coercing you into anything yet."

'yet' circled in her mind, and Max knew that she should be worried right now, really worried, and maybe if Chloe wasn't here she would be but...

she looked past Rachel's hair to Chloe scribbling furiously on a piece of paper. it truly baffled Max how nonchalant they could act about all of this. they didn't know the story though. they would be so much less happy when they did, Max knew. exhaustedly, she wondered how much of it she could realistically keep from them. and for how long? forever?

but thinking about what Rachel had asked... she did deserve what she wanted. Chloe did too. these two... they were the priority. Rachel was part of that now, she had to be.

Max couldn't be worried about it, not now. not after everything. and if things went to shit, well they already had about a dozen times, hadn't they?

She didn't want to overthink. didn't want to think at all. she wanted so desperately to enjoy this, whatever this was. it was probably nothing. Rachel and Chloe would forget this tomorrow and Max never would... but that was later. 

it was just a kiss, right? that was fine. 

what was it Rachel had asked? if she deserved what she wanted?

"Definitely."

Rachel grinned as though Max had just offered her the moon and stars. Max wasn't sure she hadn't. 

"forty-five seconds. that's how long you kissed Chloe. that's how long you owe me." Rachel said lowly. Max was certain that that wasn't at all true, but strangely couldn't find it in her heart to protest. and then...

If kissing Chloe was like a cooling drink of water, kissing Rachel Amber was like being sucked into quicksand. If Chloe was the safety and peace of home, Rachel was the fireplace that kept that home warm and lively.

Rachel had this thing about her that Max couldn't explain, had never seen anywhere else.

her eyes froze you in place and her touch drained every drop of resistance out of you. Chloe was more like an enthusiastic puppy when Max kissed her, but Rachel...

tension fell away from her body, she almost felt relaxed against her will.

_holy shit, she's like, actually hypnotizing me. why am I so okay with that?_

Rachel pressed more against her, eliciting... some kind of sound from her. not one she was very proud of either. Rachel laughed softly as she pulled back. "do me a favor sweetie?" asked Rachel sweetly, kissing the tip of Max's nose.

Max felt lightheaded, only managing to nod. her heart was warm. she was fairly certain she'd do anything for either of them at this point...

Rachel smiled. "When you get back, tell past me that the answer to my question is 'absolutely fucking yes'." 

Max blinked owlishly. "Uhm, okay but what's the ques--" she was cut off when Rachel pecked her on the lips, a bright smile on her face. "That's for me to know and me to find out," she replied cheerfully.

Max sighed in exasperation. "I hate you," she told Rachel weakly. Rachel's grin broadened. "You're not exactly struggling my dear... don't worry by the way." 

Max blinked. "What?"

"You're worried." it wasn't a question, so Max didn't answer it. Rachel went on anyway. "Don't be. I know what I'm doing, okay Max?"

after a moment of thought, Max scoffed. "okay you hypnotic asshole, now get off me so I can rewind."

Rachel laughed loudly but ultimately complied, rolling onto her back at Max's side. "Wait, don't rewind yet," Chloe spoke suddenly, grinning from ear to ear where she sat watching them. perv.

"Can you take objects back with you when you rewind?" asked her Chloe. Max nodded, still a little dazed, "If I'm holding them."

she pushed the piece of paper from before into Max's hand. Chloe looked very proud of herself.

Max was immediately worried.

Chloe gave a wolfish grin. 

"I drew Rachel as a drowned asthma rat."

trying not to laugh, Max took hold of the offered piece of paper, peering down at it.

for fuck sake.

Max couldn't help the giggle that tore itself from her throat. that was never going away now, was it?

"See, I've known her for like a day and we already have an inside joke." Rachel proclaimed excitedly. Chloe rolled her eyes. "Rachel, you just mouth-fucked each other, I-" "And that is my cue to rewind!" Max cut in, neck and face steadily heating up.

their laughter just made her more embarrassed, her face burning. the wanted to retract into her hood again, but that had been the opposite of beneficial last time.

"Awwe, has sweet little Max never fu-" Max whipped her hand up, activating her power before the end of that sentence ever reached her.

and then, there she sat. everything that had just happened was gone to the winds of time. only she would remember it. how befitting...

"I'm guessing by the fact you teleported again and your face is on fire, you did it?" Rachel's enthusiastic voice asked. pursing her lips, Max nodded. she... didn't know how to feel. she shouldn't have done that. she should never have done that. she felt amazing right now, but what about when it wore off? she'd feel terrible. she'd-

Rachel's hand on her shoulder pulled her back to reality, and Max froze at the knowing look in those mesmeric eyes. "did I have anything to say?" Rachel asked her softly. Max blinked, a little stunned. "Uhm. yeah..." she took a moment to remember.

"you told me to tell you that the answer to your question is 'absolutely fucking yes' whatever that means."

Rachel looked surprised. "well okay then," she murmured, eyes glazing over in thought.

"Hang on, don't tell me you're in cahoots with your future self!" Chloe narrowed her eyes, "that's cheating!"

Rachel just gave that secretive little smirk, annoying Max greatly. "That's for me to know," Rachel purred. Max groaned. "That's exactly what the other you said..."

Rachel hummed, not surprised at all. "so," she looked Max over slowly, making Max feel more than a little like prey, "Who was the better kiss?"

Max groaned much louder, flopping her face into the bed. she heard Chloe's desk chair creak. "Wait, yeah! come on Max, you gotta tell us, or we won't believe you~"

_Seriously, fuck you Chloe... and Rachel._

Max silently raised a hand to point at Rachel, not removing her face from the bed.

Chloe's squawk of offense and Rachel's bright laugh actually made Max smile through her whirlwind of emotions, and she pushed her face more into the bed to make sure her torturers couldn't see it.

"What the fuck man!?" Chloe exclaimed, but Max just huffed. slowly, dipping her fingers into a pool of confidence she didn't know she had, Max raised her head and locked eyes with Chloe. 

"Chloe, you taste like ass."

Chloe looked absolutely stunned, her mouth falling open, brows shooting upward. Max had never heard Rachel laugh so loudly, it actually startled her into sitting up and glancing over at her. Rachel was curled over herself, musical laughter filling Max's mind.

Max glanced back to Chloe, concerned she'd been too rude, only to find her grinning. "I don't know where you found the balls," Chloe said, "But I like it. I like it a lot."

Max flushed even brighter, looking away... just to see Rachel grinning at her side. "So I only get it because Chloe was shit? damn."

Max huffed. "...no" she mumbled, "hypnotic fuck..."

she was kind of hoping she wouldn't be heard, but the grin on Rachel's face proved otherwise.

Before she dared speak, Max did. 

tired. she was so tired. and if she didn't speak her mind, she felt as though it'd eat her alive.

"I'm happy," she told them suddenly, "this is one of the best days I've had, but..." 

Chloe's smile dropped, concern taking its place.

"I... I shouldn't have done that. not when you're probably about to..."

she trailed off, dropping her head to stare down at her lap. they'd stopped smiling now. she made them stop smiling. she should have never spoken. never come here. 

"about to what, Max?"

suddenly, weirdly, she felt... angry. angry that the people she'd ripped time apart to save didn't even know why. couldn't take this as seriously as she was.

she wasn't mad at _them_ , just...

she let her eyes slip shut, trying to control her breathing. "You don't get it," she upbraided, lungs burning in an effort to keep them moving at a natural pace.

Slowly, a warm hand settled on her shoulder. Rachel. "What don't we get Max? what are you thinking?"

she let out... some kind of sound. a laugh or a sob, maybe some kind of weird mix of both of them. 

"I'm not even supposed to _be_ here!" she suddenly yelled out, finally speaking the words that had haunted her since she arrived. the words she refused to accept, even now.

through blurry eyes, she could see Chloe's eyes widen with concern, nervousness. no, she should look terrified. they still didn't get it. they didn't get it!

Rachel opened her mouth, maybe to say something reassuring, but Max couldn't stop now. she was finally telling them, fuck, she was telling herself as much as them-

"I didn't rewind to get here! I didn't travel here, I..." her voice cracked, but she didn't stop.

"I tried for months to... to get better. but I can still only rewind up to an hour. I... can jump through photos I've taken. back to that time but..."

Rachel examined her closely. Chloe looked stunned. "So you... photo-jumped here?" Rachel asked, oddly calm.

Max wanted to laugh. tears blurred her vision. "no." she whispered.

she couldn't help it anymore. a wet laugh clogged her throat. as she looked at Chloe. she looked... so worried... "I did something so much worse... I tore a hole. in time... I could never change enough when I photo-jumped! it was never enough! I know it was stupid, but I... I was desperate, I couldn't... I couldn't keep watching you die!"

she curled into herself, covering her face. they weren't talking. not saying anything. they didn't even know the worst of it yet...

Max squeaked in sudden surprise when she was pulled firmly into familiar arms, a ragged breath leaving her. she hadn't even heard Chloe move, but the punk was here now, holding her just like she always used to.

it made Max want to sob.

"You said... you couldn't keep watching me die."

Chloe's voice was shaking, edged with a kind of grief Max had never heard before. blinking away tears, Max looked up, only to suck in air and freeze. Chloe's eyes were watery, brow laden with anguish as she looked at Max. her grip tightened.

"what does that mean?"

Max closed her eyes tight, hauntingly familiar images capturing her mind. "It's why I came back. Rachel... Rachel was dead. Nathan killed her accidentally. you..."

she sobbed, and then like a waterfall, it all just started coming out.

"You died again and again and I couldn't- I kept getting visions of this massive tornado and I couldn't figure out how to stop it. everything happened so fast... I had to make a choice."

she cut off her spew of words and locked eyes with Chloe, sudden burning shame gripping her. "we thought it was you. we thought that maybe you were meant to die that day, and me stopping it brought the storm. the storm hit so many people... it destroyed everything, but I..." she sobbed again, and she could feel Chloe begin to shake.

"I couldn't let you die. I couldn't. so we left."

an odd, pained sounding laugh shook through Max's frame. crying and laughing like the fucking maniac she was.

"We thought it was you... or me. but it wasn't. it wasn't either of us."

she turned, locking eyes with the anomaly that had caused this mess.

"It was you. you were never supposed to die. Nathan was never supposed to do what he did. The day you died, Long Beach had an earthquake worse than any other quake in California, ever... the disasters started long before I ever showed up."

the words weren't accusatory, not at all. max didn't blame Rachel in the slightest. how could she? 'how dare you die!' how messed up would that be? no, she blamed something else entirely. she watched Rachel shake, eyes watering, and she felt her face soften.

"The universe glitched," she told the blonde, "And Chloe took the fall. _You_ took the fall..."

she paused when Chloe's grip on her shoulders tightened, looking back to the girl.

she had an odd expression on her face, one that didn't match the shaking of her body. "You mean... you did all this shit for me?"

Max let out a watery chuckle. "Of course I did..." she looked down at the drawing she hadn't realized she was still holding. Chloe's drawing. she'd always loved Chloe's drawings, ever since they were kids.

In the reality she'd left behind, Chloe had really refined them quite a bit already... she'd have to remember to encourage Chloe to draw more...

"Of course I did."

Chloe was shaking against her. Max couldn't bring herself to look at her face.

"All this time... I thought you forgot about me."

Chloe's voice was shaking a little, low and breathless sounding. Max hated it. still, she couldn't help but laugh at the words. "Look at you," she choked out, "I don't think anyone could forget you, Chloe."

Chloe let out something between a laugh and a sob, and then Max was being scooped into the tightest embrace Chloe could offer. Max found herself breathing Chloe in as if she'd drown without her. that was definately how it felt anyway.

Chloe was so warm and familiar, comforting, and God had Max missed her for that.

and maybe some part of her had convinced her that things would be okay as soon as she'd fixed everything. that all of the hurt would just be gone. but that wasn't true, and she knew that now. it wasn't true.

she was more hurt ow than she'd ever been. she felt irreparable. but Chloe and Rachel were safe, and the relief battled the pain fiercely. they were okay.

and now slumped in Chloe's strong embrace, Max was finally able to slow her thoughts. nothing was okay. nothing would be okay for a while, if ever...

But Chloe was safe. Chloe was alive. Chloe was breathing, and that was a start. 

"I have so much to tell you," she told Chloe in a choked voice. Chloe's hold tightened. "that's okay. that's okay..." she buried her head against Max's, her shaking breath tickling Max's ear. her breath was hot. it was alive. she was here. this sensation was real. she was here.

"Just let me have this for a little while first." Chloe whispered.

a relieved smile on her lips, a sob caught in her throat, Max fully agreed with her.

_Let things be almost okay for just a little longer... a little longer..._

_hold me for a little longer..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I've had a shit load of work to do as of late, and my girlfriend has this adorable little habit of breaking into my house, stealing my Netflix, and forcing me to watch cartoons when I'm stressed. cute, right? she started playing one and I immediately tried to veto it. "But it's homo!" she cried, "but it's g l i t t e r y" I persisted, and then she gave me t h e e y e s and the argument was over, I was watching it.
> 
> and despite it being glittery and a cartoon, I will be the first leather-dressed punk to say that I loved it. it's homo and angsty, plus friends to enemies to lovers trope, so it ticks all the boxes too XD
> 
> so yeah, She-ra, full thing's on Netflix, go watch it.


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